GIF: TheHoonigans (YouTube)

Y’all got some of that LSD? The limited-slip differential is perhaps the best drug known to hoon-kind. It’s the trick tech that keeps your burnouts from being sad one-tire fires. Once you drive one, you’re hooked. The Hoonigans released this absurd, nearly 45-minute megacut of their best burnouts, donuts and stunts, which rubbed salt right in one of my oldest car wounds: I need an LSD.

In this video, you’ll see footage of utterly massive clouds of tire smoke interrupted by the Hoonigans’ own “Shitcar,” a battered BMW E36 project car that also lacks a limited-slip diff. It roasts one tire at a time.

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Ugh. I, too, have a beloved project car that can’t rip a real, two-wheels-smokin’ burnout: the Porschelump. I even have old, hard 24 Hours of Lemons leftover tires from 2013 that just need killing, but they may have to die on someone else’s car because my 944's open transaxle isn’t up to the task.

I’ve driven a 944 with the limited-slip transaxle before, and the extra grip was phenomenal coming out of corners on track. So, I have other reasons for needing the nicer kit than just burnouts, too. This means I’m even more annoyed that I don’t have one yet.

For the time being, I’m just going to sit over here and watch more good burnouts that I can’t do at home, and be disgusted with myself for not blowing my beater budget on a transaxle swap. Sad!