Here Are The BMW E46 M3s

Gif: BMW

You know that Phoenix Yellow BMW E46 M3s are out there, somewhere. Sure, you don’t have one. I don’t have one! Where are they, then? Well, they’re all here, doing stunts. All of them.

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The Phoenix Yellow E46 M3 is a rare E46 M3. It is not blue. It is not silver! It is very much not silver. It is not even red. It’s yellow and green, or yellow but not green if the light is right, or green but not yellow if the light is even more right.

Here, in this promotional video that BMW made, I guess to show off its driver training program, all the cars are M3s. All cars have happy faces, all cars are eager to go sideways again and again. In this video, all throttle bodies are individual, all wheel-drives are rear.

For a moment, you are there with them, gleaming and reflecting in sprinkler water, unable to distinguish it from the dewdrops of a fresh sun shower. The green-yellow you see shining back at you are your fellow E46 M3s, your fellow drivers. In unison you pull off a Rockford. For a moment you lose a sense of self.

You are one with the E46 M3. You are one with your fellow drivers. You are one with the other M3s as well. There is not a single self. There is nothing but M3s, sliding, shining, gleaming, beaming. What a joy it is to leave yourself behind, trusting in the fine engineering of BMW at the height of its powers. The little skidpad you all share, for a moment, is the world. There is nothing beyond its concrete barriers. Nothing out there but the sun, and the sky, and for a moment, a dream of escape.

Could not all of us M3driversharingmomentexperiencehumans break free from this skidpad, from this pen? Could we not take our stunts out there? Could we not all drive together, forever, sliding every road, eating while sliding, laughing while sliding? Can this unity not expand to fill the whole universe in lusty straight-six song?

Raphael Orlove is features editor for Jalopnik.

DISCUSSION

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WasGTIthenGTOthenNOVAthenGTInowA4

Gunna get flamed, but I’ve always hated Phoenix Yellow. Worst color they’ve ever sold a car in.

I understand the novelty of it, but the thought of someone thinking it actually looks good is baffling to me.