Here Are Ten Fake Gearhead Slang Terms You Can Try To Pass Off As Real

Illustration for article titled Here Are Ten Fake Gearhead Slang Terms You Can Try To Pass Off As Real

Car-obsessives like ourselves already have a nice, rich panoply of very specific slang to enjoy. The sentence “I lunched the tranny in my 4-banger hooptie,” for example, is actually an understandable sentence to a disturbing number of us. To celebrate our wealth of slang, let’s make up some fake ones.


I’m not going to give these slang terms any specific meaning. I just want ones that sound like something that could be real. I’ll give the term, and it’s use in as non-specific a sentence as possible, to let your imagination decide what the hell it could mean. Some I have sort of a meaning in mind, but not all.

Enjoy, if possible!

1. Jamrod

“I grabbed the jamrod in a panic, and shoved it straight back. We took off like a shot.”

2. Skrats

“That new set of skrats I just put on my ‘93 Achieva really changes the dynamic of the car.”

3. Picnic Gasket

“Yep, mine did that, too. I had to pull everything off and replace the picnic gasket.”


4. Glivver

“No way I’m getting in the car with that guy. He likes to get his brakes all wet and glivver all over the place.”


5. Slicing the brisket

“Holy shit, dude, did you see that? Motherfucker was totally slicing the brisket in that Metro with the huge skrats.”


6. Fresno-Look (adjective form: frezzed)

“Let’s go to the big Fresno-look show this weekend. I hear some guy totally made a frezzed Countach. It has the green blinkers and ball-peen marks and knobby rubber and everything!”


7. Shocktwirler

“I was missing all over the place, and it finally just quit on me. Turns out a bunch of ants crawled in the shocktwirler and died.”


8. Captained-out

“My ex-boyfriend used to drive around in some captained-out Suburban.”

9. LaForge

“My gas mileage was awful, but I found out why. I finally checked my LaForge– filthy. Got a new one and bam, back up to 12 MPG.”


10. Alacantarrorism

“I don’t know. The interior on the new R8 just feels like it’s been the victim of some Alacantarrorism campaign.”


Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!:




Gear lever within a gated shifter. NEXT!


Aerodynamic skirting which covers the rear tires. Akin to spats for cars.

Picnic Gasket

A Subaru head gasket. AKA: A gasket which has been lunched.


Intermittent hydroplaning. So called for the odd sound the intermittent traction causes the engine to make.

Slicing the brisket

Being extra aerodynamic. Cutting right through the fat wind with the greatest of ease.


Cars which are so boy-racer’d, they’re a parody of boy racer-dom. Possibly ironic, often not.


Distributor cap


A land yacht made even more land-yacht-y. Bigger wheels frequently, as well as softer spring rate for a smoother ride.


Aftermarket carburetor with additional barrels for increased fuel and airflow.


An upscale version of Yarn Bombing.