It’s good to know where your standards lie. Otherwise, we wouldn’t know the difference between Mega Blocks and LEGOs. That’s why I asked you all to provide me with cars that you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole, much less your bank account. This might hurt.
10. 1996 Buick LeSabre
While this Buick LeSabre might be the car of choice for octogenarians that think anything on the FM side of the radio is new-fangled noise, for everyone else, it’s a big fat nope.
Double nope if it has the base model V6 engine that was about as peppy as the starting sequence of a TV set in 1964. It was good enough for grandma, but perhaps it’s time to come to terms with the fact that grandma made poor choices.
(Suggested by Nick Hodgson)
9. 1997 Chevrolet Tahoe
This Chevrolet Tahoe may look like it’s the small SUV that you’ve always wanted, but it’s nothing but disappointment. I’ll let Jordan, the Slowrunner, and Kona explain:
The GMT400. I loved these trucks. I lusted after one all through high school. Then it came time to get one. I drove three. All terrible in the exact same ways. Great to look at, absolutely garbage to drive. Shame, because to me it’s one of the best looking trucks ever made.
(Suggested by Jordan, the Slowrunner, and Kona)
8. 2005 Ford Excursion
This Ford Excursion was the big-boned patriarch of the Ford SUV lineup, but it may have been completely and hopelessly pointless. I’ll let Manwich explain:
If I needed to tow a heavy trailer, a 1 ton pickup with a 5th wheel will do it better. If I needed to tow and have space, then I’d just get the crew cab. Or if I needed 9-12 passenger seating, I’d get a Mercedes Sprinter. And this thing is so huge, it would be a pain in the ass to drive since I live in the city. And I know these handle, go and stop like shit compared to most regular cars. I’ve read how some people love these for the combo of space and towing ability because they “need” a vehicle to tow their 10,000 pound RV they use for “camping” with seating for them, their 5 kids and their inlaws. Riiight.
Most Excursions I see on the road are NOT doing any towing and have maybe 1-3 people sitting inside. Most people that buy these, buy them because they just want something so they can be bigger than everyone else on the road...
(Suggested by Manwich)
7. 2003 BMW 745Li
This BMW 7 Series was a low point for the German luxury brand, mainly because it was the flamboyant start of the oddly-styled Bangle-butt era. That, and the fact that every single one of these luxobarges would experience problems that led to them smoking harder than Dennis Hopper in Waterworld.
If you didn’t understand that last reference, we can’t be friends.
(Suggested by 50fridge)
6. 2009 Toyota Camry
This Toyota Camry is one of the most practical cars ever made. It’s reliable, ironically enough, to a fault. It has no personality, very little in the way of driver feedback, and, if you’re a car enthusiast, it’s the equivalent of a sensory deprivation tank, without all the cool hallucination.
(Suggested by speeddemon807)
5. 1999 Hummer H1 Limousine (Extra Crispy)
This Hummer Limo is... er, it speaks for itself.
(Suggested by KilgoreTrout53)
4. 2013 Lexus RX350
This Lexus RX350. If you care about cars at all, you have literally no reason to buy one of these. I’ll let Jared Harris explain:
Literally, the only reason people buy these damn things is to a) impress someone with a badge; b) to project an ‘active’ lifestyle; and c) to impress someone with a badge. I wouldn’t take one if it were given to me – much less buy one for $35k used – and I honestly can’t say that for a lot of cars.
(Suggested by Jared Harris)
3. 2004 Chevy Cavalier
This Chevy Cavalier may have been one of the most affordable GM cars for quite some time, but there are a few very good reasons why you should never, ever buy one. I’ll let General Purpose explain:
Styling: They took a basically acceptable 90s-era jelly bean design and made it continuously uglier detail by detail until the end of production in 2005. The retreat from cuteness in the redesigned grill is notable in stripping away any possibility of charm, and the way that the recessed trunklid meets the swollen rear bodywork is a particularly unpleasant detail.
This car was laughably behind the times; the Honda Civic went through three generations while this single design of Cavalier was sold.
Shitty handling, unrefined cabin dynamics, interior plastics both rock hard and terrifically flimsy, sagging headliners, unwilling engines. All that good old GM stuff.
The owners, with their penchant for self-hatred, have defaced the design further with a litany of appalling body kits, which grace most of the remaining examples that I see.
This car is strong evidence that my home state of Ohio is hopeless. I apologize for every one of these cars that Lordstown farted out.
But more than anything else, I wouldn’t use this car for free because it was a death trap even by compact standards. Considered to have appalling side impact protection even when new, it received no updates in this department for the next 10 years and amassed the coveted title of “Highest rate of driver deaths” from the IIHS. You might think that all small cars were bad at the time, but you would be overstating the case: this car was statistically less safe than the Civic, Corolla, Escort, or even the Neon.
(Suggested by General Purpose)
2. 2000 Daewoo Lanos
This Daewoo Lanos came from a company that made the microwaves currently frequenting Craigslist’s curb alert section. It was unreliable, ugly, had amenities and creature comforts that rivaled prison cafeterias, it was slow as all hell, and was always one flat tire away from being an insurance write-off.
If you see one of these in the wild, approach the owner to have a good long talk about their life choices.
(Suggested by toomuchcommuting)
1. 2008 Dodge Avenger
The Dodge Avenger, the car with one of the coolest names of all time, had some of the worst qualities ever placed in an automobile. It was the un-quirky kind of ugly, it was slow, had countless mechanical issues, and was everything the boring Camry hoped to be, except much, much worse.
If you bought one of these monstrosities, you likely spent at least some significant part of your week looking for something better, like a bicycle.
(Suggested by Zohaibman72)