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Here Are Some Much Cooler Colors For The 2018 BMW M5

The configurator for the 2018 BMW M5 is live and available for your use, which includes, of course, selecting your colors. Like so many cars today, “colors” is code for mostly grays, whites, blacks, and maybe one or two actual colors. In BMW’s case, both are blue. I think we can do better.

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Here’s what BMW offers:

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In case that dazzling, near-asphalt rainbow isn’t thrilling enough for you, here’s what BMW calls the colors, from left to right.

Top Row: Black Sapphire Metallic, Singapore Gray Metallic, Snapper Rocks Blue Metallic, Marina Bay Blue Metallic, Doninton Gray Metallic, Bluestone Metallic, Alpine White

Bottom Row: Azurite Black Metallic, Champagne Quartz Metallic, Almandine Brown Metallic, Rhodonite Silver Metallic.

Those two blues aren’t bad, and the car is handsome in any of the interchangeable blacks or grays, and I’m happy to see a brown, or at least a brownish metallic blackish, but I still want real, no-neutral bullshit color again. It’s not quite as oppressively boring as Mercedes-Benz’s color selection tends to be these days, but it could be better.

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You’ve seen a bright orange BMW 2002, haven’t you? It’s glorious. Or a really brown 3000 CS? Fantastic. A lime green E21? Fantastic. Even the old 5s and 7s, stately as they were, had fun color options.

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I’m not willing to lay down my eye’s cones on the altar of monochromism. That’s why BMW should give these color options a shot:

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Citrus Rage Metallic

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Sovereign Citizen Avocado Metallic

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Charleston Pollen Yellow Metallic

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Cold Boyardee Scarlet Metallic

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Twiglets Forest Green Metallic

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Chemical Fascination Colorshift Liquid Sun Drop Metallic

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Turgidity Pastille Blue Metallic

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Nürburgring Violet

You’re welcome, BMW.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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DISCUSSION

macintux
Just Jeepin'

I have a theory I’d like to see the manufacturers disprove. I suspect I’m wrong, but I don’t think we have any way to prove the prevailing assumption is correct.

Jeep, rolling out their new JL line, is only manufacturing the most boring colors first. Grey, a different grey, black, white. I think red is available too.

Why? Because that’s what people buy, of course! As Mark Allen, head of design for Jeep, said: two weeks of production for purple will make enough purple Wranglers to satisfy all customer demand.

Phooey on that.

I think people buy neutral colors because that’s what’s on the lot. I think dealers put those on the lot because that’s what they assume people want, because it’s safe.

Sure, they might have a single purple Wrangler, or bright green, but random couple Joe and Jane don’t both like bright green, so they buy black instead. Maybe they both like bright yellow, but that isn’t sitting on the lot.

I think if Jeep launched with only bright colors, and held off on the neutral ones for a few months, people would buy bright colors!

I could be entirely wrong, but I get tired of hearing justification for boring colors as “that’s what people buy.” Of course it is, because you didn’t give them any other options.