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Hellcat Driver Gets His Ass Handed To Him By Tesla At Drag Strip

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At first glance, this looks like a delightfully even match: Dodge Challenger Hellcat vs. Tesla Model S P85D. Old-school V8 muscle versus new electricity. Problem is, one of these cars sets a quarter-mile record at this drag strip, and the other has a sad, dismal failure of a run. Everybody point and laugh at the Hellcat driver.


See, drag racing is a lot more difficult than it looks.

The Hellcat is the best thing to happen to big-horsepower 'Murica since apple pie and shootin' ranges. It's a large engine in a big retro box of a car.


And it will eat you.

If you don't have the most delicate of footwork, all of the Hellcat's 707 horsepower is just going to do what it wants, which is spin the tires and let its ass go sideways. It is unashamedly what it is: a merciless boat of a car that will eat you because that's precisely what you wanted from it. You poked the Hellcat by buying one. Bless your heart, I love you people.

Luckily for this fellow, he keeps it in a fairly slow burnout down the drag strip.

The Tesla Model S P85D, on the other hand, is a modern wonder full of traction control and other aids that help translate all that delicious electric torque into something usable by four meaty tires. It's considerably easier to mash the throttle down and go quick in than the Hellcat, so it comes as no surprise that Tesla's double-engined wonder set a new world record while it was there. This Tesla ran an 11.6 quarter-mile at 114.6 MPH, which was verified by the National Electric Drag Racing Association as being the quickest production electric car in the world.


Meanwhile, in the other lane... is Hellcat just doing more burnouts on purpose? I don't think there's enough smoke for that to be on purpose. Did he accidentally buy Prius tires after shredding the OEM set?


I mean, the Hellcat's run is 17.46 seconds at 82.74 MPH. I'm glad the Tesla is made in America too, otherwise this would be a sad, sad, dark day for our great country.

As much as I'm inclined to go "Bahahahaha, Hellcat n00b is a LAME N00B," I really want the guy to learn some throttle control and come back for a Hellcat vs. P85D rematch. Yes, the Hellcat will bite you, but part of the joy of driving something hard is conquering that when you finally get it right.


I'll give him this much: Hellcat Dude knows how to rip a sick burnout.