Maybe as I grow older, I'm getting more cynical. Maybe. But I can't shake the feeling that when someone I see seizes my hands, looks me in the eyes, and tells me "Happy Honda Days," those words were once more than just a reason to buy a new Fit. Happy Honda Days once meant something. Something about humanity, and our lord Soichiro Honda.
Sure, I see the Happy Honda Days banners up, but all too often they're flanked by those convulsing inflatable-tube men cajoling me to see the amazing deals in the Honda dealership. When did Happy Honda Days become so commercialized? When I think about the Happy Honda Days of my childhood, I remember a time when the idea of buying a car — even a Honda — on the holidays was considered crass and disrespectful.
Happy Honda Days were all about reflecting on the genius of the Great Soichiro and his Works, giving thanks to the Holy Concept of Compound Vortex Controlled Combustion and lighting the two candles (the little one in its own separate, small pre-combustion holder, of course), and praying for a year when VTEC would kick in, and we all say "Yo."
Sure, there were all the clashes with the folks that celebrated Toyotathon, culminating in the Showroom Riots of 1978, when the filthy Toyotathonians desecrated the Sacred Showroom by parking a Celica in front of a Civic. Sure, today, we all get along much better — I haven't struck a Toyotathonian in years — but what have we lost in the process?
I mean, can any of you even tell me what's different between the devotees of Happy Honda Days and the December To Remember Lexusians, or even the Veedubber's Sign Then Drive? I can't. Because now it's all about selling cars.
So please, I beg of you, in Soichiro's name, followers of Happy Honda Days: make this year different. Make it about something more than just another number on a sales chart. Make your Happy Honda Days about love and caring and the novel air-cooling solution of the Honda 1300 Coupe 9.
And then let's go fuck up a Toyotathon. Heathens.