Photo: BetaMAX/YouTube

With winter comes cold weather and snow. In fact, this year it’s started snowing in areas that don’t even usually get snow. Luckily Subaru has you covered with all the four-wheel-drive, light piano accompaniment and vague weather related threats you could ever want with their 1990 lineup.

While I don’t know if Subaru has the power to manipulate atmospheric conditions and produce harsh blizzards, let’s just be safe and assume they do. The commercial made a promise that Subaru will plunge the world into a second ice age so I’m taking them at their word.

In an attempt to appease our new ice overlords, I would suggest buying a Subaru Justy, Loyale or Legacy. All of them are fine safe options for cruising around town, traveling in problematic weather or just making our new spiteful winter gods happy. We could all use a car that does that.

I’m not sure I agree with Subaru’s advertising campaign that threatens us with natural disasters but I can’t say it’s ineffective. After all, ‘90s Subarus still hold up stylistically and I heard that wooly mammoth doesn’t taste bad. In fact, I think I’ll sharpen my spear and arrows before the boys and I try and find a saber-toothed tiger later today.

Will you get a Subaru before it’s too late?