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Fuck This Triangle

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Goddammit, do you see this bullshit? Do you see it? Are your eyes perceiving it? Fuck this unscathed triangle of rainwater.

First, I understand it’s not technically a triangle. Google defines a triangle as a “plane figure with three straight sides and three straight angles.” But you all know what I’m talking about: that triangle-ish island of water that festers in the gap between pivot-style wiper blades when it rains. There’s no getting rid of it! By fault of design, that triangle is here to stay.


A fresh wiper blade flicking away gathered rainwater is one of the most satisfying things to watch. Swish! All gone. Blank. Tabula rasa. Except not really because that goddamn triangle still remains, like that unreachable itch at the exact middle of your back.

In terms of visibility, that small patch of windshield isn’t top priority, but its location is so central that it’s not easily ignored. It just sits there, an obnoxious semi-enclave state of resistance. And then! Once it stops raining, you get dried raindrop marks on your otherwise clear windshield. It makes me want to scream.


It’s not all pivot-style wipers, either. Quite a few do a fine job of obliterating the triangle no problem at all. I don’t understand why others, like the ones in the GIF above, don’t.

Opposed-style wipers, like the ones in this windshield wiper explainer, do away with the triangle but leave another triangle up top. But that triangle is largely obscured by the rearview mirror and therefore ignorable.

Guys, just make the wipers a little longer. Be above the triangle. Wipe it out. It doesn’t deserve to live.