First off: who does this? What sort of jackass goes out of his way to collect his dog's feces, gingerly carry it across the street, soft widdle hands shielded by a plastic baggie, and then dump it on a total stranger's car? Again: who does this?
This video was sent to us by one of our Manhattan-area readers, and the car is an FR-S. He got tired, somehow, of finding steaming piles of dog crap on his car, so he placed a dash cam in the car to catch either the human jerk or weirdly fetishistic dog.
I asked if there was any possible justification for why this guy is dumping dog shit on his car — not that any reason would justify this sort of cowardly, callow act, but still. Here's what I was told:
I work in the Google building at 8th ave and 15th street. Yesterday morning I came out to find a large wad of shit sitting on my car. Now, sometimes the homeless will use the space between cars as a toilet stall. Originally I thought this would be a video of a homeless guy upgrading to the first class toilet (score!)
No such luck. Probably just an angry automotive fan. Never seen him before and can't think of anything I've done to warrant his attention. There's no doubt he went out of his way to target my car, but that's not my usual spot and I haven't had a vandal incident in a few months.
Over the years I've had several cars vandalized here. My miata had a brick thrown through the windshield in two places, cigarettes placed on the roof to burn through.
I've also seen plenty of other cars messed with in the same area. In one case, every mirror on every car for four blocks had been smashed off. So far the FR-S seems to attract more problems. In other areas (far from here) it's been egged, splashed with liquids, spit on.
Possibly one of those most hated cars out there? The forums are filled with vandalism stories.
I'm pretty baffled. Aside from the inherent wrongness of messing with someone's ride, why pick on an FR-S in particular? They're relatively small and unobtrusive on a city street, they're not particularly expensive or showy, they're a blast to drive — what's the trouble here? Is there something I'm missing?
Or maybe Admiral Houndcrap there is just a colossal dickhead.