It finally happened - you're a freaking multi-millionaire and want to spend your hard-earned cash on the supercar of supercars. Surely the world-record setting 253mph+ Bugatti Veyron is the car to get, right? Not so fast. Here's a few reasons why owning this car would be one of the dumbest things you could ever do.

(Photo by Axion23 on Flickr)

4. You Can't Work On It Yourself.

No, this isn't a nitpick, and here's why: while I do know that many of the million dollar hypercar makers strongly suggest or lightly demand that you service the car in a sterilized factory that closely resembles a facility that deals with medium-sized pandemics, there's a certain bond that the car enthusiast gets from popping the hood and interacting with the mechanical bits themselves, even if you're not necessarily turning a wrench.

Here's the problem - there's no hood. Instead, here's what you get:

(Photo by Janik Macholl on Flickr)

Here's a 7-figure car that has 16 cylinders, 4 turbochargers, and more technological mumbo jumbo than the Super Human Samurai Cyber Squad put together, and the best that it can do to excite the car enthusiast is two matte grey metal tubes with some shiny 12-point bolts. There's no compartment that opens to impress your yuppie friends and there's nothing that visibly moves when the car is on. It's the car equivalent of an expensive digital watch - it certainly has a purpose, but it's hard to appreciate the engineering because you can't see what the hell is going on.


If you actually wanted to do anything on the car, you'd have to send it to Bugatti and they'd have to rip the car in half to work on it because there's nearly no access from the top or the bottom of the engine. This means that no matter what, you'll need to have a relationship with Bugatti instead of bonding more closely with its Veyron. It's like asking the prettiest girl in school out on a date, but then realizing she's ridiculously high maintenance, and her dad is going with you.

Just for comparison, here's the carbon fiber, magnesium, titanium, and aluminum engine compartment of a Pagani Huayra. Remember to wipe down your seat after you get up later.


(Photo by J.Smith831 on Flickr)

3. There's Too Many Of Them.

When you get into the crazy-expensive hypercar market, you need to seriously think about exclusivity. When you're paying more than $2 million for a car, it needs to be something that's only reserved for a small, curated group of buyers. For example, Mclaren produced a little over 100 examples of the F1, the previous holder of the world's fastest production car. This is a nice low number, and one of the main reasons that it's appreciating like crazy right now.


Bugatti, on the other hand, has made a little over 400 Veyrons. This is a problem, because if you happen to drive a '99 Mitsubishi 3000GT VR4, your car is much more rare than the 16-cylinder Bugatti will ever be. However, to make the Veyron look more exclusive, they've separated their 4 actual models (16.4, Grand Sport, Super Sport, Grand Vitesse) into a few special editions, "few" meaning 31.

(Photo by J.Smith831 on Flickr)

Seriously, what good is it to dub nearly every color or interior trim change a "special edition"? Bugatti Veyron - the participation trophy of supercars.


2. It's Horrible Value For The Money.

I'm a huge proponent of depreciation - but in cases like these, it can be a real issue, since the average buyer purchases this car since new and would likely keep it as an appreciating asset. Let's put some numbers behind the rhetoric: A Bugatti Veyron 16.4, with all dealer fees included, will cost $2 million from your local mom-and-pop Bugatti dealer. Compare that number to the price of one that hasn't been sold yet.


That's right, a 6-year old Bugatti Veyron, with 2 miles on the odometer can be had for 1.39 million. That's only a $600,000 hit in depreciation for a car that hasn't been driven. In the used market, the numbers are even worse - $1.1 million for a car that's done 11k miles in 8 years. That's nearly a million dollars in depreciation. I'm not sure what other car ever comes close to that. It's the equivalent of burning a Ferrari 360 to the ground every year, or if you're Doug DeMuro, it's the same as not stopping your 360 from burning to the ground every year.

1. The Current Competition Blows It Out Of the Water.

Since the Veyron released nearly a decade ago, the auto manufacturers of the world have responded, with cars that can out-turn, out-accelerate, and out-class the Veyron in every meaningful measure. What can you buy for $2 million in today's super exclusive market?


Koeniggsegg Agera R - $1.54 million, (Photo by Autoviva on Flickr)


Ferrari LaFerrari - $1.4 million, (Photo by Axion23 on Flickr)

Pagani Huayra - $1.3 million, (Photo by Axion23 on Flickr)


Mclaren P1 - $1.15 million, (Photo by David Villarreal Fernández on Flickr)

And unlike the Veyron, these cars will appreciate in value because there weren't too many made, they all convey a sense of mechanical, as well as aesthetic beauty, and aren't art pieces to be placed on a pedestal, but cars that can be driven to their insane limits regularly.

Tavarish is the founder of APiDA Online and writes about buying and selling cool cars on the internet. He owns the world's cheapest Mercedes S-Class, a graffiti-bombed Lexus, and he's the only Jalopnik author that has never driven a Miata. He also has a real name that he didn't feel was journalist-y enough so he used a pen name and this was the best he could do.