For $800, Red 5.0, Checking In

Illustration for article titled For $800, Red 5.0, Checking In
Nice Price Or No DiceIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe 1992 Mercury X-wing was built for the Dumball rally. Whether or not you’re a Star Wars geek, you can still tell that the force is strong with this one, but is it also with its price?

The force was sadly not with yesterday’s Mopar 440-powered Maserati Quattroporte as it fell in a massive 76% Crack Pipe loss. I guess we’ll now never know just how fast that fat Italian cruiser could make the Kessel run.


In Star Wars, the Empire sought to rout out what they described as the Rebel Scum. In the Pacific Northwest they hold a scavenger hunt rally that serves for routing out some rebellious fun. The Dumball Rally is sort of like the 24 Heures du LeMons, only on city streets and with eating contests.

The last Dumball was held in April and covered over 100 miles between Vancouver and Longview in Washington State. This 1992 Mercury Marquis de Sade has participated in the past two Dumballs,

One of the features of the rally is clever participant themes. This Merc is outfitted to resemble an X-wing fighter from Star Wars and the resemblance is uncanny. Not only are the ski poles on the wing tips close approximations of the real thing but the builders have also put the car’s body damage to their advantage, turning a hole in the plastic nose cap into a blaster scar. It’s all very convincing.

Illustration for article titled For $800, Red 5.0, Checking In

Star Wars was intended as a homage to the serialized science fiction movies of George Lucas’ youth, and there’s nothing more old school than a big Ford Panther. This Marquis rocks a 5.0 and automatic combo and of course sports body on frame construction, just like the Millennium Falcon.

On the downside, also like Han Solo’s ride, it’s a little grungy and not everything works as it’s supposed to. The heater has been bypassed due to a leak, and the tail lights have been set to permanent stealth mode. It can get pretty cold in space so the heater may be an issue.


Other noteworthy issues on this 111,000 mile Merc, there have been holes drilled in the trunk lid to accommodate the wings, and one in the roof for R2D2. Also, the ricer wing and stereo do not come along on the mission.

Why on Earth - or any other planet for that matter - would you want to drive around in a Star Wars car? Two words: Tron Guy. Someone out there needs to out geek Tron Guy. Oh sure, there have been Star Wars cars before, including a Del Sol speeder, but this X-wing made out of a Marquis makes that Honda look like intergalactic crap.

Illustration for article titled For $800, Red 5.0, Checking In

Okay, not only is this former fun rally participant a geek-cool toy to have parked in your Death Star, but it’s also a Ford Panther, which are pretty sturdy rides as-is. The seller is asking $800 which while above LeMons level is close enough that selling R2 as a hat might get you in range and then you’re good to go.


What do you think, is this X-wing worth $800? Or, for that much, would you rather sleep in a Tauntaun?

You decide!


Portlandia Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Civardi for the hookup!

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David E. Davis

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