For $7,500, This BMW Is DIY

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Much like a four-door Cinderella, BMW's 7-series has never been invited to the M-Car ball. Sometimes all it takes is a fairy godmother to make things right, and while today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe E23 demands more of a lead foot than a glass slipper, will its price turn it into a pumpkin?

I know what you're thinking - two Bimmers in two days, B-M-W-T-F? I also happen to know what you thought of yesterday's Jack Baur'd 323i, which, while it did have a hot engine and a cool top, couldn't manage anything better than a 74% Crack Pipe loss at sixty two hundred smackaroos.


Today we're going to go with a little mein herr of the dog.


The first version of BMW's 7-series - the E23 - has always reminded me of a basset hound. I don't quite know what the connection is, but after the lithe airy lines of its Neue Sechs predecessor, the slab sides and droopy ends of the E23 seemed almost dumpy. Different strokes, I guess. And at least the performance of the M30-powered cars more than made up for the. . . well, not really. Actually, aside from the frustratingly-named-for-the-mathematically-challenged 745i, the E23 range - 733i, 735i, and L7, here in the U.S. - were more stately tourers than the sport sedans their predecessors promised. And while the ‘80s gave us M editions of the 3, 5 and 6 series,' the top of the line four door's invitation to the shindig must have gotten lost in the mail.


But that doesn't mean it couldn't crash the party. Today's 1984 7-Series would not only crash the festivities but it would likely spike the punch, steal all the hotties, and draw dicks on the faces of all the passed-out drunks there. That's because this E23 has gone all in on M.


Let's take inventory of what an M mod means for a BMW. The go-faster bits always start with the engine,and that's usually an already strong base given both steroids and rabies, or one with more pots. And rabies. This former 733i now packs an S38b35 in its arsenal, a 3,453-cc six good for 252-bhp when originally plunked down in a U.S.-spec M5 or M6. Here it's hard to say what kind of horses are in its stable as it's said to come with both euro-market headers, and a wearying 169K on its own personal clock. Overall, the car has done - get ready to clutch your pearls girls - 290,000 miles. More disconcertingly, it seems some of those were done on the track.

Road or track, M drivers like to row their own, and this car fulfills that need with a Getrag G280, a rare bird of a box, and hence one that requires a fat wallet when repairs are required. While exercising your right arm for something other than keeping rosie palm and her five sisters acquainted you might notice that this big sedan can corner too. The seller claims custom Bilsteins and Dinan springs all around, as well as fatter anti-roll bars. A big 4:10 LSD pumpkin, strut tower brace, and braking upgrades round out the major mechanical upgrades.


Visually, the car features Euro bumpers, what's described as a somewhat tired respray, and cap-less BBS (?) alloys. Inside, your tactile pleasures include a three-spoke sport wheel, short shifter and Recaro throne. The rest of the interior looks to be clean as a whistle. On the down side the only climate control involves driving the car to where it's warmer or colder and then opening the windows, and the ad notes that redlining the engine may eventually cause the power steering pump to assplode.


The seller describes his car as semi-legendary, and a number of posts under his Mye28 ad seem to support this assertion. Simple physics would suggest that a big tall sedan is not the best candidate in which to toss your salad, but this car does seem able to make a go of it. And of course it also does rectify that omission in BMW's cavalcade of M models, at least until the company decides to go all in on M themselves. On the other hand, this heavily modded 7 has a lot of miles under its belt and the major mechanicals will be bank account draining should anything big go wrong.

Of course, when confronted with its $7,500 asking price, perhaps cautions such as those should be thrown to the wind. It is, after all, not just an M7, but possibly THE M7. What do you think, is this roll your own M7 worth rolling out seventy five crisp Benjamins? Or, is this a custom M with a cuss-worthy price?


You decide!

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H/T to SuperCharger.Heaven for the hookup!

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