For $6,700, Become A Hooker

Remember the nursery rhyme Piggies, the one where your littlest toe runs home crying? Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Fiat is a little tow that you could drive home, but will buying it cost an arm and a piggy?

Some you considered yesterday's Avanti Touring Sedan a bit piggish, and in a vote tighter than a new convict's ass crack, the Avanti went down with a 50.14% loss. That Caprice-hiding custom had sat for many a moon, and was advised by the seller to be a tow-a-way, rather than a driver. As it probably weighed in at close to two tons, using today's hitch-equipped Fiat to do the deed may not be advisable.

The first rule of Fiat Club is don't talk about Fiat Club. The second rule is that it's not if but when you are going to breakdown, and you need to be prepared. And what better preparation than to have your own 1957 Fiat 1100 Tow Truck?

Sporting both suicide doors and more hook than a Peter Pan acid flashback, this Italian utility – claimed to be a refugee from the Fire brigade – is about as unique as they come. Sure it's a little rough around the edges, but being a tow truck you wouldn't exactly expect it to require the good china, would you? It looks to be based on the 1100 sedan, with a front track that has been widened so as to require a pair of fender extensions covering the wheels. Out back it looks just like the ones that AAA dispatches, only smaller and in stereotypically Italianate red. As such, the drug of choice for drivers of this little truck would likely be Chianti rather than the meth favored by traditional purveyors of the hooking trade.

Meth might explain the content of the ad, which is written up in the form of a stream of unconsciousness, but with pertinent information to be gleaned sprinkled throughout. The seller says he has a second, cycloptic grille that will also come with the truck, as well as other spares which go without description. He also makes prominent mention of the 'Maserati type' Weber DCD – a two barrel down-draught carb found on many Fiats (hell, or even the Saab Sonnet) of the era, but probably not found fueling many Masers. Fueling the impression that the seller is on something is his strange admonition against heavy oil filters; a brief screed regarding the passing of author John Ross; and the denigration of Ferrari owners as a$$wipes, making it pretty obvious that he isn't among them.

But back to the Fiat.

On the down side, the trucklet apparently needs its brakes to be unbroken, and the shift linkage that has been monkey'd with needs to be demonkeyfied as well. But enough of the negative neddy, there's a lot to like here as well, starting with headlights that have little merry-go-round wipers on them – fun for the whole family! Then there's the fact that this Fiat is a frickin' tow truck. Sure, the 1,089-cc OHV four under its hood only puts out about 43-hp – even with that DCD – but the whole thing probably weighs less than a ton. That'll go up of course, if you've got something on the hook, so yeah, you won't be towing many Chicagoans off Lake Shore Drive in it, but that first Smart For2 with a lunched gearbox by the side of the road will totally be your bitch.

Should you want to meet the seller's demand for this tow truck, you'll be on the hook for $6,700. The question – this being NPOCP – is if paying that much is worth it to 'score with the ladies' as the seller suggests? Or does that price make you want to just stick with AAA?

You decide!

Public Service Announcement Okay, I have checked it, and the poll is there in the preview, right here above these words that I am typing right now. We'll see if it shows up when this post goes live (NPOCP is written 7 months in advance) or if it's again hidden behind some cryptic 'Click Here' gatekeeper, and you have to become the keymaster.

Home to Farmers Field Craigslist or go here if the ad disappears (like things have been doing around here.)

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