For $5,500, This Custom 1997 Dodge Van Could Wake The Dead

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

They say go big or go home, and today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Dodge Van is so deeply in character as a ride for the walking dead that you might just believe it's real. You'll have to decide however, if paying for it takes… brains!

People who are into S&M like a little pain along with their pleasure. The M side of that equation - the masochists - are the ones who like to be on the receiving end, and with a 73% Nice Price win, a lot of you kinky bastards felt that buying yesterday's 1977 Alfa Romeo Alfetta GT would definitely hurt so good.


Hurts so Good is a song by John (Johnny Cougar) Mellencamp, which might indicate that he's also into a little S&M. That's kind of hard to determine as his career has been pretty much dead for years. In fact, you might consider him to be - metaphorically of course - the rocking dead. That is probably not all that dangerous of course, but just in case, have I got a van for you.

This is a 1997 Dodge Ram Van, which has been kitted out as a work truck… for some sticky business. Branded ZOM-B-GON with a clever red circle and slash in each of the Os just like the arrow in the FedEx logo, this Dodge goes the extra mile in pulling off the Zombie apocalypse survival schtick.


That includes an amber gum ball and enclosed rack on the roof, Z-bar with extra lights and zombie skin green chains, and 20" wheels fitted with Mickey Thompson (who just so happens to be dead, creepy!) tires. Mechanically, the ad says it has a six which I believe would be the 3.9-litre V6 with 175-bhp. That's backed up by an auto box.


The outside may work hard, but the inside plays hard too, with a dead-raising sound system and DVD/TV for Romero marathons. There are also bats, pick-axes, and guns galore on the walls and doors, so best not to get pulled over in this van by the cops. Of course that's not an issue at present in NYC.

You might think that a truck with such aspirations would be done half-assed or perhaps on a base that's been totally wrung out. That does not seem to be the case in this instance, and in fact the cab of the van looks to be in pretty good shape with decent seats and a custom console housing two cup holders. That's pretty good for 177,000 miles.


Why would you want a balls-deep zombie removal van? Well, to get laid of course. Ooh, your job is to rid the world of the restless undead? That's so sexy! Other reasons could be for children's birthday parties, because you hate your neighbors, or if you're freaked out that zombies are real and it's only a matter of time before they start knuckle-rapping the windows of your mom's basement in search of your delicious and nutritious grey matter.


The cost for any of those scenarios is $5,500, and you now need to decide if - based on the ad - this custom killer diller is worth that kind of scratch. What do you think, is the ZOM-B-GON van worth $5,500? Or, is this van too far gone to command that kind of price?

You decide!


Asheville Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to Jim Huscher for the hookup!

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