The world is a dangerous place, and today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe custom Eclipse could be the only things standing between you and a fate worse than death. Let’s see just exactly what that’s worth to you.

We’ll… get… to… the… results… of… the… vote… on… yesterday’s…1980… VW… Dasher… diesel… in… just… a… sec. We… just… have… to… wait… for… it… to… get… here.

Okay, it’s here! No wait, that was an Audi. Ah, here it finally comes.

That Volkswagen may have only had 49-bhp, but it looked like it had the heart of a lion, and being in such sweet shape after so many years, it also looked like the cat’s pajamas. That, and a modest asking equated to a solid 62% Nice Price win for the classic ride.

Advertisement

All joking aside, yesterday’s VW would be a poor choice come the apocalypse. I mean, what with its molasses dueling pace and modest tires, there’s a good chance it wouldn’t make it through any of the the biblical plagues promised us in the end of days.

Now, this 1995 Mitsubishi Eclipse on the other hand, that’s a different story. Even cheaper than the Vee-Dub, this sporty coupe has gone full survivalist by being plopped on what’s described as an ‘80s Nissan truck frame, and then getting its power from a Chevy 305 V8. It’s also painted with a purpose, in olive drab with faux blood and guts for good measure.

Advertisement

Of course 22-inch wheels and fat knobbies do not alone an end of the world savior make. No, if you want to go all Mad Maxican you’re going to also need guns and gas. Fortunately this Eclipse comes with a roof rack with a prop chain gun and a jerry can.

You can replace the gun with the real deal as soon as the shit goes down and the military is out fighting the undead or Tyra Banks’ unholy army of supermodels. That’ll be a good opportunity to tank up too, just don’t mount your can sideways with the mouth facing downward like in the pictures in the ad.

What’s not to love here? Well, the ad notes that there’s an electrical drain that kills the battery after a few days so there’s that. The front tires likewise apparently go flat over a similar time period. Based on the pic of the car in front of what looks to be a movie theater, I’d guess that there’s also an issue with something leaking some fluid somewhere. Fun!

That won’t matter when the dead rise and you’ve got some splatterin’ to do. You won’t be able to separate the tranny fluid from the zombie blood when the streets run red.

Advertisement

It may not matter much when society falls, but until that time you can take comfort in knowing that this Eclipse is still licensed for the road and comes with a clean South Carolina title.

The seller says that if the ad is still showing then the car’s still going. With so many people predicting the end of days being just around the corner -with its plagues of aerial amphibians, disgorged dead, and Donald Trump - you’d think some savvy prepper or social outcast would have already snapped this bad boy up.

Maybe its price has something to do with it. After all, when someone asks if you can put a price tag on your own personal survival, the answer is usually yes. I mean, have you seen The Walking Dead? That’s a hell of lot of hard work just to try and stay alive. Now you’re telling me it’s going to cost money too?

Advertisement

Well, yeah, making through the apocalypse ain’t gonna’ be cheap, but this custom-built Eclipse is in fact kind of cheap. The asking is $3,000 and that gets you all the guns and props according to the ad. Hell, this being in the South maybe the guns are real?

What’s your take on this custom 4X4 Eclipse and its $3,000 price? Is that a deal to save your bacon? Or, is this one zombie slayer with a price that makes it dead to you?

You decide!

Greenville SC Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to justinwides for the hookup!

Help me out with NPOCP. Click here to send a me a fixed-price tip, and remember to include your Kinja handle.

Advertisement