Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe BMW is offered with an iPhone thrown in, for the chance that, if you can’t come, you can call. That, and its six-speed stick shift should entice, just as long as its price doesn’t mean a busy signal.

Yesterday’s Labor Day contender was a (nominally) French car which was quite fitting as French workers have been recently ranked the second productive in the world. The car was a Renault GTA racer, which was based on the Alliance, built in Kenosha Wisconsin, and which itself was based on the Renault 9.

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The Alliance was never considered to be a reliable worker, however the hotter GTA - and no, not the Alpine GTA - did manage to turn a sow’s purse into a silk ear, evening the score somewhat. Add to the that the racer X factor on this 1987 example as well as its low, low price, and the result was an 80% Nice Price win. Bon travail!

So, the French are number two in productivity, and as you might expect the Americans are number three, but do you know what nation is ranked number one, numero uno? That’s right it’s China Germany. And what does Germany make? Damn-near everything as it seems. What we’re interested in today however, is not so much the macro view of Otto von Bismarck’s legacy, but a specific output of it, which is this 2007 BMW 530Xi Touring.

BMW’s present naming convention was introduced with the E12 Five Series, which itself was introduced in 1972. It wasn’t until the E34 arrived a decade and a half later though, that the Five expanded its model offerings to include a longroof model, and even later than that for the range to offer the option of all-wheel drive.

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As indicated by its Xi badge which is affixed to a hatch just above the back bumper, this Five is both all-wheel drive and a wagon. Now, I think that styling is a personal preference - which is why they make dogs in so many styles - but in the case of the Davide Arcangeli-designed E60, I think the general consensus is that it’s - as they say in junior high - ugly and its mother dresses it funny.

The wagon is an improvement over the saloon in my opinion, but it still is saddled with the horrible Dame Edna glasses front end which looks woefully ill conceived to me. Okay, let’s move on, I’m over it.

This one, in Alpine White over a charcoal leather and burlwood interior looks to be in tip-top shape. The ad notes the replacement of the back bumper cap, owing to a scratch, as well as the starter (rut-roh), and additionally that it has more tire pressure monitors (which are stupid-expensive on BMWs) than you can shake a streusel at.

Power is provided by an M54B30 M52B30 (thanks guys) DOHC inline six. That’s 2,979-ccs in displacement and 255 bhp/221 lb-ft in output. Those ponies are fed through a six-speed manual gearbox (yay!) and to all four factory five spokes through BMW’s variable torque-split AWD system. The car rocks a total of 90,000 miles, or a well under average 11,250 per annum, and the ad claims it still purrs like the proverbial kitten.

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Let’s just recap all that, m’kay? This is a modestly powered, low-mileage, AWD luxury station wagon with a row-yer-own gearbox, in white, which being an achromatic color actually contains all colors including the hue brown. Is there any boner box this car doesn’t tick?

It should also be noted that it comes with a butt-load of cool features too, most of which come with an indecipherable acronym, as well as a monster-big moon roof through which you could moon the Moon. There’s the premium package, the cold weather package, comfort access system and... well, I feel like I’m forgetting something.

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Oh yeah, and it comes with an iPhone 6. Huh? Yep, as a sales incentive, the present owner is eschewing the traditional eat-a-bug offer to make you deal and is instead throwing in a still-in-the-box iPhone along with the car. We’ll see just how much interest that generates tomorrow when the NEW iPhones are introduced.

All that come at a price of course, which in this case is $17,500. Considering that winter is coming - or so say the GoT memes - an AWD wagon with heated everything seems like it might just be a good idea. The question for you is how good is this one at that price?

You decide!

Minneapolis Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

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