For $10,999, It’s The InstaGrand Wagoneer!

Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Do you know why hipsters like ice? Because it was water before it was cool. Today's Nice Price or Crack Pipe Jeep is probably the world's first Tumblr-ready restoration, but you'll still need to decide if its price also needs to tumble.

You know something that people just don't say anymore? "Well, there's something you don't see everyday." That's what. Yep, with the Internet, 24-hour media, and the death of social propriety, we've pretty much seen it all.


Yesterday's 1986 Ford Escort showing up for sale, in of all places Michigan, proved however to be an excellent opportunity to pull out and dust off that chestnut of a phrase. Sadly for the seller, a narrow 53% of you couldn't see paying the asking price for the beast on any day.

Hold on a second, I want to send a Snapchat. Oops, it's gone. Let me try that agai… nope, that one too. Okay last ti- dammit!

Look, I'll be the first to admit that I don't participate in social media to the extent that some people do. I am on the Twitter (#robemslie), I also Facebook when I have a good fart joke or a sassy bon mot to share. I have however spackled over all those other cracks into my personal life because geez, when I finally go I want there to be something that people can share about me at my memorial that they didn't just read off of Google.


That is perhaps why the ad for today's 1986 Jeep Grand Wagoneer strikes me as a little incongruous as it seems written by someone from the hashtag generation, or at the very least by a couple whose dream has always been to be featured in an American Apparel ad.


Winsomely nicknamed Wags and offered in an ad featuring professionally snapped shots of what one assumes to be the seller (Beardo) and his wife (Blondie), this is an SUV from before SUVs were cool. The big Jeep is described as having been lovingly restored by the couple over the past 18 months or so, while still surviving as a daily driver for Mrs Seller while she went for chai tea, or drove around looking for people to commiserate with over the dearth of places where you can by music on vinyl. I'm projecting there, none of that is actually in the ad.


Some of the work that has gone into this 154,000 mile Grand Wagoneer includes new paint over what's said to be straight and rust-free bodywork as well as new wood grain siding. On the inside, both the headliner and carpet are new, however there's no word on whether the latter matches the drapes.


Mechanically, the consumables seem to have mostly all been renewed, along with some updates owed to wear and tear - alternator, rear main, etc., - and there's a rebuilt and upgraded transmission.

Is everything just hunky dory in hipster heaven here? Well, in a word no. There is the somewhat alarming note that the 'terribly problematic emissions system' has been eliminated. This truck's in Florida, and as we all know, anything goes in that place. Anywhere else however, were registration requires a visual inspection or - god forbid - an actual emissions test, things could turn ugly.


There's also the note that the 4Wd selector was eff'd up during the tranny work and hence the Jeep is at present not trail rated. Note to seller; FIX that. You may not need 4WD but that's a pretty important reason people buy these things, not just for their ironic fashionableness. Yeah, and fix the fuel gauge sending unit too. Seriously dude, you're pissing me off.

The seller is asking $10,999 for this Jeep (without the fixes), and he claims that his wife will aver to it being 'worth that and more.' I think I'll hold out for a more unbiased opinion, like say, yours!


What do you think about this hipster Jeep for $10,999? Does that price raise your Pinterest? Or, does it make you say Oh-Snap-Chat?

You decide!


Orlando Craigslist, or go here if the ad disappears.

H/T to StreetSweeper for the hookup!

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