A suspected car thief in Oregon endured the worst of all possible fates: while attempting to jack a vehicle, he somehow managed to get run over by that very car. I’m not sure if it’s more impressive or hilarious, but it is most definitely both.
According to ABC News, a Happy Valley, Oregon police officer responded to a call about the theft of a 1998 Honda Accord just before midnight last week. When he drove out to inspect the situation, he found their suspect fully reclined in the driver’s seat in what seems to be a very ridiculous attempt to hide.
But it did mean the suspect, 31-year-old Isaiah John Gellatly, was ready for action. As soon as the officer flashed a light into the Honda, Gellatly started ‘er up and floored outta there as fast as he could. Enter: a police chase deserving of the movies.
Other officers were called in to help out by laying down spike strips in the road where the suspect was believed to be headed. But Gellatly, this absolute madman, was not deterred. He blew through everything from stop signs, opposite lanes of traffic, and all of the spike strips that were in his way.
The strips eventually paid off. Gellatly pulled into a business complex and found that the Honda was getting harder to control. After running into the police car, the suspect likely realized he was (pardon my French) royally fucked. So what does he do?
Easy. He leaps out of the car in an attempt to get away on foot.
He did not, however, factor in the fact that his car was still moving, therefore running directly in front of it to try to escape is not necessarily going to be the most successful of options. Especially when said vehicle is headed directly for a tree and the side of a building.
Lo and behold, Gellatly ended up getting pinned under the wheel of the Honda—which turned out to be full of other items that the police think he might have stolen, too. Oh dear.
Gellatly was treated at a local hospital before he was booked at the Clackamas County Jail on suspicion of attempting to elude police, reckless driving, theft, and unlawfully entering a motor vehicle. And, at the same time, he has become a universal symbol of what definitely not to do.