Floridian Road-Raging Moron Shoots Self In Leg With Own Gun

Illustration for article titled Floridian Road-Raging Moron Shoots Self In Leg With Own Gun

Tell the truth: if you were a Floridian with a Mercedes, a handgun, and an assault rifle in your car, what would you most like to do with your time? Drive like a dick and terrorize families in other cars? Of course! How about shooting yourself in the leg? Why not — according to NBC-2 in Florida, this guy did!


Here’s what happened: a Fort Myers, Florida woman was driving with her three teenaged kids when she noticed that the silver Mercedes-Benz in front of her was driving erratically.

“I honked the horn and [gestured] one of these, like what are you doing? He brake-checked us to the point where I had to slam on my brakes and my anti-lock brake system reacted.”

The woman, Melissa Drake, and one of her kids then noticed the driver waving a handgun outside his window, pointing it back towards their car. Drake passed the Mercedes, the driver still pointing the gun at her car. She noted the license number and called 911 describing what was happening.

It gets better. After she passed the Mercedes, the armed driver crossed over a couple lanes to get back behind her, only this time, he’s ditched the handgun for something else:

“As we’re going by, he has an assault rifle now following us. I saw the scope and I thought ‘Oh my God.’”

Drake was able to drive away without getting shot, but Karma, she decided to intervene here and have a little fun to liven up a dull afternoon.

The Mercedes stopped in an intersection, with the driver hopping around on one leg, spewing blood everywhere, screaming.


Idiot shot himself in the leg with his own gun. Early reports said it was the rifle, but that’s unclear.

Luckily for the jackass, a couple on their way to the dog park stopped in the middle of the busy road and administered first aid to the wounded dipshit. The dipshit, who’s first name is Alex (the rest of his identity has yet to be released) was transferred to a hospital.


It’s nice when karmic books get balanced like this.

Contact the author at jason@jalopnik.com.



Can we stop calling semi-automatic rifles assault rifles yet? Because they aren’t.