Florida Woman Drives Into A House Because She Was Driving While Praying With Her Eyes Closed

Illustration for article titled Florida Woman Drives Into A House Because She Was Driving While Praying With Her Eyes Closed

When most of us think about the danger of driving while interacting with invisible beings, we’re most likely to blame Pokemon Go. That’s not the case with this 28-year-old Floridian, who was praying to an invisible being named Jesus with her eyes closed. While driving. She hit a house.

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The wreck happened on the morning of July 7, in the matronly-named city of Mary Esther, Florida. The woman ran a stop sign and kept driving until she hit a house with her Taurus. She tried to back out, but the car was too stuck in the sandy soil.

Luckily, nobody was hurt, in either the car or the house.

Illustration for article titled Florida Woman Drives Into A House Because She Was Driving While Praying With Her Eyes Closed

Praying while driving is fine, generally, as long as you’re not snake handling or anything like that. It’s worth remembering, though, as a sort of rule of thumb, that no matter what you’re thinking about while you drive, why not keep your eyes open? I think most people find keeping your eyes open is a fantastic way to “see” out the “windshield” while driving so you don’t crash into “anything.”

I mean, I know lots of gods can be a real dick about how you pray, but I’m sure pretty much any of the major religions have prayer-delivery systems that function just fine while your eyes are open.

I sort of hope it’s later discovered that her prayer was “Please, lord, don’t let me run into a house.”

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

DISCUSSION

mexifinn
Mexifinn

I’m going to say it. Religion is a drug, just like any other drug - cocaine, alcohol, nicotine, marijuana, etc... Some people can deal with it without being addicted, and some people need to go to AA for religion.

I don’t have a problem with drugs. I drink. I know to not drink and drive, but when it starts fucking with other people, you need to go to rehab.

Just my 2c.