Here's a little cooking recipe, handed down from my step-uncle's roommate's brother's sister. Take one Mercedes, and completely engulf it in flames. Leave it on top of a big hill. Don't set the parking brake. Add firefighters, a high pressure fire hose, and now water everywhere to reduce the friction. The result is perfect.

Well, perfect mostly because there wasn't a crowd of children or something at the bottom of that hill. Otherwise, you know, it'd be sad.

Andrew Collins, our Resident Person Who Is Actually A Firefighter, says that this could've been prevented if someone remembered to put a chock underneath the flaming death-inferno. LOL OKAY Andrew. You get under there and set the chock. I'll sit and watch.

And this is why I am not a firefighter.