Imagine the Quidditch game from the world of Harry Potter, but with normal people throwing trash out of their cars.

But first, the news; Highways England, which is the weird name for the government-owned company that kind of acts like that country’s Department of Transportation equivalent, is introducing road-side trash cans designed for motorists in 25 service locations. The giant orange cones that appear to stretch out with a gaping, sinister mouth, like some weird trash-consuming creatures from the mind of H.G. Wells or another messed up person, are intended to help clean up roadside litter.

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According to Highways England, roadside litter costs taxpayers an average of £8 million, which is around 10.8 million in freedom dollars, which amounts to about 200,000 bags of trash. A previous trial of the new trash bins showed a 25 percent decrease in roadside litter, according to, uh, Highways England.

But looking at this, I can’t help but see the sporting potential. Let’s run through the checklist of what we’ve got here:

  • A lot of people
  • A lot of standard equipment that can be adapted for sporting use
  • A common source of equipment for throwing (and ecouragement to do so)
  • A lot of targets

So looking at that, I mean, come on. Let’s do something with this. We’ve got a bunch of people, driving around with targets to aim their trash at. In Harry Potter, there’s a bunch of people on broomsticks, flying around with targets to aim their magic spheres at. This is practically a government funded sport with a lot of potentially dangerous implications already. Now we just need objectives. And a cool name. MotorTrash. TrashCrash.

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Do we have people see how fast they can go while still “scoring” a “trash shot”? Or perhaps we get even more technical with some cars blocking the other cars from “sending it” with their unfinished Starbucks breakfast. We can mount cameras to the receptacles and everything. There’s even international potential; everywhere drives and everywhere has trash. All that’s missing is the giant orange swallowy goals.

I wanna go try this sport out myself. It’s about time we learned a way to have fun with trash. At the very least, more places should adopt these things. It’s the perfect blend of laziness and social responsibility that’s so rare to come by.