What's very likely to be the drunkest, horniest couple in Oconto County, Wisconsin has been captured, everyone, so you can rest easy. The 33 year-old man and 29 year-old woman were arrested for drunken driving, and the pair started having sex in the back of the squad car while being transported to jail. Damn.

Must be that Axe body spray stuff, right, ladies?

Travis Husnik and Heather Basten seem to be really, really into each other, because I can't imagine a less sexy place to be than in the back of a squad car when you're on the hook for a DUI. But, who knows, maybe I just haven't been in the right situation? Maybe the officer was playing Sade on the squad car stereo and maybe Heather just looks so fetching in pulsating blue lights. Maybe the time was just right.

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The County Circuit Court judge wasn't really getting just how sexytime-enhancing that squad car was, saying

"What do I sentence a guy who has sex in squad car to?"

... which is a valid question that all of us should reflect on occasionally. I guess he could sentence him to not having sex in squad cars for, say, three months? That seems fair.

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Basten was driving the car, but both were charged with lewd and lascivious behavior and disorderly conduct. It should also be mentioned that the officer driving the car wasn't into this at all, and made Husnik sit in the front seat, where he wouldn't be able to have sex with anyone, ideally.

The big kicker in this sordid little case are the mugshots — Basten looks deeply hung-over and squinty-eyed, while Husnik has a peaceful, cavalier slight grin of a man just happy to be almost gettin' some, no matter what, and there's a look in his eye that suggests he regrets nothing. NOTHING.

In the interest of fair reporting, it should be noted that these people are not from Florida, as hard to believe as that is.