Illustration for article titled COTD: Giant Squid Edition

I've always loved the vast, majestic sperm whale. I don't know if it's because they're the largest toothed predators in the world, of if it's just because I like Moby Dick, but either way, it has made me hate giant squid.


Evil bastards, giant squid. They sit in the deep ocean upside-down, waiting for prey to swim into their mass of tentacles. Every time a sperm whale wrestles one of these things to death, the world becomes a slightly better place.

We were confronted with another giant squid today, when the Canadian super speeder turned himself in after posting a video of himself going 186 miles an hour through traffic. This provoked a number of great discussions with some readers admitting they'd topped out their bikes on the public roads while pauljones questioned why anyone would post incriminating video like this on the internet.

Here's what I don't get: If you're going to do it, fine, do it. I can't stop you. But why the hell would you not only create tangible documentation of it, but then proceed to post said tangible documentation on the internet for everyone from potential employers to law enforcement to see?

I mean, really, what the fuck were you thinking? Were you expecting Miranda Kerr to see the video and be so impressed by it that she decided to hire a private detective to find out where you live, and then come over with pizza and beer, compliment your incredible douchebag skills, and ask if you want to fuck? Were you expecting applause from the the common, everyday populace as they proclaim you to be their hero for performing such dumbass stunts in public?

Look, kid, I don't what the answer here is; I just can't fathom what good you thought might come of doing this, let alone documenting it and posting it on the internet. But clearly, whatever the ultimate reasoning behind your stupidity, it obviously has something to do with wanting attention. If you're doing shit like this just for the sake of attention, you shouldn't be on the road to begin with.

And no, I won't give you kudos for turning yourself in. Let's be real here: the only reason that you turned yourself in was because you realized how stupid you were and that you left so many clues in that video that the cops were on their way to arrest you anyways.


So why the hell do people post these things online?

Photo Credit: NTNU Vitenskapsmuseet

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