Illustration for article titled COTD: Casting Call Edition

Ever wanted to be in a play? Great, we all have at some point. Ever wanted to have the lame loser role in a play? Different story. All roles are important; not all roles are enjoyable or fun. Still, the story's the important thing.


Car parts are like that. Everyone wants to be a piston or a gear, no one wants to be a gas cap. But important is important.

Extend it out just a bit and, well, so are individual roles in hypothetical conspiracies, as BufordJustice contemplates after a hammer came between a Nissan and a minivan:

The sequel to Reservoir Dogs was in peril the moment vehicles were substituted for colors.

Mr. Minivan: Hey, why am I Mr. Minivan?

Quentin: Because you're a shitty driver with rage issues.

Mr. Minivan: Why can't we pick our own vehicles?

Quentin: No way, no way. Tried it once, doesn't work. You got four guys all fighting over who's gonna be Mr. 'Vette, but they don't know each other, so nobody wants to back down. No way. I pick. You're Mr. Minivan. Be thankful you're not Mr. Edsel.

Mr. Minivan: Mr. Minivan sounds like Ms. Soccermom. How 'bout if I'm Mr. Tahoe? That sounds good to me. I'll be Mr. Tahoe.

Quentin: You're not Mr. Tahoe. Some guy on some other job is Mr. Tahoe. You're Mr. Minivan.

Mr. Nissan: Who cares what your name is?

Mr. Minivan: Yeah, that's easy for your to say. You're Mr. Nissan. You have a cool-sounding name. Alright look, if it's no big deal to be Mr. Minivan, you wanna trade?

Qyentin: Hey! NOBODY'S trading with ANYBODY. This ain't a goddamn, fucking city council meeting, you know. Now listen up, Mr. Minivan. There's two ways you can go on this job: my way or the highway. Now what's it gonna be, Mr. Minivan?

Mr. Minivan: Jesus Christ, Quentin, fucking forget about it. It's beneath me. I'm Mr. Minivan. Let's move on.

Joe: I'll move on when I feel like it... All you guys got the goddamn message?... I'm so goddamn mad, hollering at you guys I can hardly talk. Pssh. Let's go to work.


Photo Credit: Noah Darnell

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