COTD: Bouncing bundle of Bat-joy edition

In the soft moonlight, Kal-El put his ear to Bruce Wayne's engorged belly and tried to feel for a kick. "It's gotta be a boy" said the Caped Crusader, who had just finished altering the tool belt for the new orbit of his waistline.

"I wouldn't mind a girl," said Superman. "I can repaint the nursery in three or four seconds, eitherway. If only I could assemble that damn Ikea changing table. By the way — did you look at my projection crystal on Kryptonian water birth?"


Batman tried to hold in a sigh: "Look, just because you were born with inhuman strength doesn't mean the rest of us can't avail ourselves of available technology. Including an epidural, darn it."

"B-Dub, you have more toys than a dozen preschools."

"Speaking of," said Batman, as he moved toward their den, taking Superman by the hand...

If only all teams worked as well as the one Spiegel suggested. Like the assist today between UnlimitedRevs and 900 Turbo, who had a different kind of fan fic involving a braking Boeing.

Sulu: All power lost to reverse thrusters. Captain, if we can't stop, we'll crash into the gas station at the end of the runway.

Kirk: Understood. Kirk to engineering, Scotty, apply friction brakes to maximum.

Scotty: Ceramic brakes are nearly depleted, captain! If we hit them now, they may overheat and detonate the landing gear!

Sulu: ...700 feet and closing...


*Brakes engage, landing gear erupt in smoke and glow red hot* *End of runway gets closer and closer*

Kirk: Scotty, make us stop!


Kirk: Well give me more Scotty!

Scotty: There's just no way to stop a starship on depleted ceramic brakes.


I can try to reconstitute the ceramic properties of the rotors using antimatter from the warp core. I'll have to use the transporter to beam the rotors directly into the core without initiating a warp core breech and then beam them back onto the brakes while still under full braking.

It's a wee bit tricky but I think I canna pull it off Captian.

Kirk: Scotty, you're a Miracle Worker!

Scotty: Aye, Captian.

Share This Story

Get our newsletter