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Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes

Photos: Mercedes-Benz
Photos: Mercedes-Benz

To many of my coworkers’ chagrin, I have started to come around to these crossover coupes. I just imagine them all as Mad Max modified cars for the impending apocalypse and it’s kind of comforting. But if there’s any of these behemoths that need to be reconsidered, it’s the 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe.

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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes

For what it’s worth, I’m not really a fan of the current Mercedes-Benz design language. I think the C-Class is a great-looking, very classy sedan, the new CLS has a lot going for it, and the rest of them are tacky blobs I find uncomfortable to witness. The new Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe may be the tackiest and blobbiest of them all.

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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes

The looks are a shame, because on paper, the GLE 53 Coupe actually sounds pretty fun. Its wheelbase is cut down 2.4 inches shorter than its SUV sibling, so in theory it’ll handle a little better, and it gets Mercedes’ 3.0-liter inline six engine paired with 48-volt hybrid battery technology—a similar setup to what’s available in that CLS I mentionedthat makes a maximum output of 429 horsepower and 384 lb-ft of torque in this configuration.

The “EQ Boost” feature you get from the 48-volt hybrid goodies is a temporary bump of 21 hp and 184 lb-ft of torque, when it’s being used for performance and not fuel efficiency.

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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes

The GLE 53 Coupe also gets all-wheel drive, an AMG 9-speed auto, AMG’s adjustable air suspension, and an optional AMG Track Pace feature in the infotainment setup that’s supposed to enhance your vehicle analysis with over 80 data points when (if) you take this whale to the track.

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I almost don’t hate the profile view. And then the thing moves and I realize Mercedes just can’t give a fuck anymore. The interior is pretty cool, though.

Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
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Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes
Illustration for article titled Congrats To The 2021 Mercedes-AMG GLE 53 Coupe, The New Ugliest Of All Crossover Coupes

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DISCUSSION

jakyle111995
My Skoda is the most Superb

Does its whole grille light up? No? Then I’m sorry, you’re wrong. The worst offender is still the 2020 X6.