If you ever once think Jalopnik is acting a touch sensationalistic in their reporting of a story you should watch your local TV news (also, you're probably paying attention). The best station for this in the Houston area is KPRC, which has the hilarious America's Most Wanted-esque feature "The Wheel of Justice." KPRC reporters and producers help "law enforcement agencies put wanted criminals behind bars." The CSI-style graphics, quick cuts and aura of vigilante justice put us to shame. They even have a blog: The Blog Of Justice. And yet even they are better than BotswanaMeatComissions's view of ABC News and Brian Ross.

Tonight on ABC News:

"If we put this brick on top of the gas pedal, grandma's Camry becomes a DEATH MISSILE OF DEATH."

In other news, Famed half man, half pizza. ... the notorious gangster got locked in his stretched limo and ate himself to death.