Commenter Of The Day: Lisa And Louise Burns Edition

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: Lisa And Louise Burns Edition

If you're only going to make one movie in your life, you will likely do worse than Lisa and Louise Burns. At age 12, the twin sisters played the dead girls in "The Shining," with their big-wheel excursions and bloody interludes carrying the movie from Stephen King hash into classic creepfest. It was the first and only acting job the pair has ever taken; both grew up, earned advanced college degrees and likely live normal lives outside of the ability to drop a nuclear bomb of a cocktail party story. Which brings us to those children who have not been so fortunate in their acting careers, like the young lad in the Toyota ads giving us hives at the moment. Thankfully, commenter Lotte stepped up with an idea that could redeem a few young actors and strike a blow for righteousness at once:

So I can't help but have a great commercial for GM; it's long, bear with me:

Scene, 15sec: Right-back seat of a Cadillac wagon, facing the back left seat.

BILLY resting elbow on door, looking out forlornly. Car comes to a stop at red light in right lane. 2011 TOYOTA HIGHLANDER rolls up to light, rear window lines up with BILLY. Window opens, reveals RILEY holding brand-spanking new cellphone.

RILEY: "Hey, look, it's the wagon kid." *snickers "This is going on Facebook, by the way."

Scene, 7sec: Shoulder of RILEY, cellphone in shot, BILLY's face in focus.

RILEY: "This is Billy in his station wagon for those who didn't see him. And I'm in our cool new 2011 Highlander, with rear-seat entertainment, optional 19 inch wheels, folding seats, 187 horsepower…

Scene, 5sec: Passenger seat, Cadillac wagon. Camera focuses on BILLY'S DAD's face.

BILLY'S DAD: "556"

Camera re-focuses further to RILEY'S DAD, who is smirking. Cadillac Wagon revs, V8 exhaust note.

Scene, 1sec: Traffic light box. It goes to green.

Scene, 8sec: Shoulder of RILEY, cellphone in shot, BILLY's face in focus. Cadillac smokes tires, both vehicles launch, RILEY and BILLY thrown back in respective seats, Cadillac CTS-V Wagon accelerates out of frame in a cloud of tire smoke.

Scene, 5sec: Camera in cargo hold of CTS-V, facing forward. BILLY'S DAD shifts into 5th, looks back at BILLY.

BILLY'S DAD: "So, Billy, are we cool?"

Scene, 4sec: Center console, facing rear focused on BILLY'S face.

BILLY, smiling: "Yeah, we cool"




Congratulations, Mr. Lotte, on COTD today! I would like to gift you with a yellow Ferrari to be brought to you by this lovely lady who is No. 1. Great job, Sir!