Commenter Of The Day: I'm Gonna Poison His Swimming Pool Edition

Illustration for article titled Commenter Of The Day: I'm Gonna Poison His Swimming Pool Edition

I was at the 2005 National League Championship Series game in Houston on October 17th. It was an exciting game and going our way in the 9th inning when everyone started to celebrate. One game away from the World Series. One out away from the World Series. One strike away from the World Series. All closer Brad Lidge needed was one strike against Albert Pujols of the Cardinals, but I still turned and glared when the guy behind me said "We're going to the World Series." I wasn't ready to pop any corks yet and with good reason. Pujols went yard with the next pitch. He hit it so far I lost it before the shot bounced off the roof in left field. I've never been somewhere that went from loud to quiet so quickly. Walking home I heard a guy say "I'm gonna poison his swimming pool" in reference to Lidge. It's probably the way anyone else in line for a COTD felt when they logged into the EcoBoost ALMS post only to see this comment by FriscoFairlane.


Press Release: 08/11/2010: "Ford to rename EcoBoost engine lineup something less gay."

Ford president and CEO Allan Mulally announced today that the EcoBoost moniker for its high-performance turbocharged engine line has been deemed "way too fruity" and a more appropriate name has been chosen.

"Once we realized that hippie-dippy Whole Foods shopping longhairs don't really give a shit about cars, driving, or performance, we knew it was time to give a better name to our killer turbocharged engines," said Mulally. "Our market research shows that people who like 'eco' things generally think a 'turbo' is some kind extreme of bong hit. Plus, those morons kept trying to plug it in and put vegetable oil in the tank."

Vehicles equipped with Ford's turbocharged four and six cylinder engines will now be badged with a "T" (for turbo) after the engine size, and higher-performance models will carry the SVT badge. The high-performance Taurus will continue to be called the SHO, but will come standard with a 6-speed manual transmission.

The T and SVT designations narrowly edged out "AwesomeBoost" and "HolyFuckingTurbo" respectively.

Ford does still have plans for the EcoBoost name, however. "We are going to start calling all of our hybrid and future electric cars "Ecoboost," said Mulally.

"Those vegetable eating, dreadlocked doofaces won't know the difference," he said. "But I don't think it will stop them from putting fucking fryer oil in the gas tanks."

And a star, use it wisely.


I still love Brad Lidge for all of those games he made exciting. Never a bad day watching the Astros. Especially at the Juice Box.