Comment Of The Day: You See Those Chemtrails!? Edition

Illustration for article titled Comment Of The Day: You See Those Chemtrails!? Edition

Look! Up there! They’re back again! They only spray us on clear days, did you ever notice that? It’s because it’s easier to POISON EVERYONE when they’re walking around outside!

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You know THE MEDIA and THE CORPORATIONS won’t touch this thing, nah, they’re too busy getting you to waste all your money on iPhones and all your time on a false left vs. right narrative! But I can see through it because the robot brain they replaced my real brain with is malfunctioning. Clearly Drakkon- Go Porsche Go! has a magic robot brain too because he can see the truth!

Doesn’t stop me being outraged about all hundreds of dead Americans falling their deaths in flying coffins because of the skyrocketing cases of drone-aircraft strikes.

The government is responsible for more than HALF of the strikes, that’s why the PRESS NEVER REPORTS IT! the other half the deadly drone strikes is multi-nationals like Facebook who pay the families of the dead MAJOR HUSH MONEY! Nobody is talking about this tragic and dangerous epidemic. You can only get good info on the forums where the NSA can’t track you.

Don’t be caught up by the ‘flying is safer than driving BS.’ The feds say that over and over as a method of population control!

IT STARTED WITH THE CHEMTRAILS!

Congrats on your COTD win, Drakkon- Go Porsche Go! Hopefully the nurse will stop stealing your medicine now!

Photo credit Mark Turnauckas


Contact the author at patrick@jalopnik.com.

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DISCUSSION

DennyCraneDennyCraneDennyCrane
DennyCraneDennyCraneDennyCrane

Here’s the thing about the chemtrails conspiracy theory that really, really bothers me:

So, the idea is that chemtrails are chemical dispersant mechanisms spraying chemicals over a specific region.

And they specifically separate them from regular ‘contrails’ because ‘chemtrails’ are supposedly the ones that linger, while contrails will evaporate (according to their moonbat theory).

So here’s my problem:

If the chemtrails are the ones that linger, they’re not exactly dispersing that chemical very well, now are they? I mean, shit, look at a cropduster. That’s serious dispersion.

And, if it’s just hanging up there, it’s not even getting down to ground level. It’s just hanging up there, right?

Like... even in their own internal logic, they’re wrong. And yet it persists. Seriously, people, what the fuck?