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Citroën Tweets That It Hopes You Have A Great Orgasm Today

Illustration for article titled Citroën Tweets That It Hopes You Have A Great Orgasm Today

In what might just be the Frenchest tweet possible for an automaker, Citroën is wishing the world a happy “International Orgasm Day,” and illustrating that with a Cactus shaking, suggesting that either the novel CUV is ready for clitoral stimulation via vibration, or perhaps that the car itself is experiencing an orgasm, and is convulsing in pleasure. Either way, top-notch tweeting, Citroën.

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I’m a big fan of the Citroën Cactus, so if the car is experiencing the joys of sexual stimulation, far be it from me to deny the car that intense pleasure.

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If they’re suggesting the car’s possible use as a sex toy, I do have to say that, among pretty much every other car, the Cactus has a better claim to be viable in such a role thanks to those little rubber air pockets on the sides of the car, which are about as close to a sex toy as you can find in modern cars.

So, yeah. You enjoy that body-shaking climax, little French crossover-hatch.

A bit of research shows that December 21 is not just the Winter Solstice, but also is in fact Global Orgasm Day for Peace. The holiday is described like this on their website:

On each and every day in 2013 the men and women of earth had over 2.5 billion orgasms.

This happens in every corner and culture around the globe. It is a fountain of good feelings.

That’s over 100 million orgasms per hour, every hour.

1.5 million per minute.

To harness this power, we ask you to dedicate your orgasms on this day, and everyday, to World Peace.

Whether with a partner or with yourself, join on the Solstice moment at 11:11 GMT or anytime in this 24 hour period.

So, yeah, they’re requesting that you “dedicate your orgasms on this day, and everyday, to World Peace.”

I’m actually a firm believer in the practice of dedicating my orgasms. I like to highlight various groups that I feel need attention. For example, I may shout “This is for you, dairyworkers of America!” before the event, or maybe “Please accept this tribute, scientists working on the challenge of nuclear fusion!”

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you know I love to reuse this GIF, even if it’s not a Citroën

The people around me at the public library where most of these orgasms occur generally seem supportive of my efforts.

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Anyway, Citroën deserves some recognition for being the only major automaker to talk about orgasms in their tweets.

Senior Editor, Jalopnik • Running: 1973 VW Beetle, 2006 Scion xB, 1990 Nissan Pao, 1991 Yugo GV Plus, 2020 Changli EV • Not-so-running: 1977 Dodge Tioga RV (also, buy my book!: https://rb.gy/udnqhh)

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emilminty drives an E30 but the '89 Cavalier blew a head gasket