Chinese Death Bus: A Rolling Execution Studio?

Illustration for article titled Chinese Death Bus: A Rolling Execution Studio?

Overpopulation and rampant crime has led the Chinese to develop a rolling lethal injection bus complete with a live video feed of the killings. Details inside.


Jinguan Auto, a popular Chinese ambulance manufacturer, has developed a rolling execution studio. Convicts are strapped to a power sliding stretcher that extends out of the rear of the bus as it's allegedly "too brutal" to haul people on board for their final cocktail. The executions are broadcast to local law enforcement authorities to make sure they are conducted up to code.

This trumps the traditional firing line-style executions as small cities do not need to build expensive specialized death structures. We thought you just needed a stained wall, a blindfold and a pack of cigarettes to dole out the harshness, but it seems this is a new, caring China. The lethal injections are supposedly much more humane than having someone kneel and play catch the bullet with their brain.

Not so fast with the China lovin', though. The Chinese have gotten in trouble in the past for harvesting the organs of their prisoners to sell to Westerners in need of a transplant. Critics claim that the new death bus simply makes it much easier to harvest organs in secret while they're still usable instead of rushing some bleeding guy into the back room for a hasty slicing. Nobody is allowed to view the bodies of prisoners before they are cremated, so this rumor could prove to be true.

It's great fun to be poking sticks at the Chinese for being immoral, but we're sure more than a few of you would be calling up your buddy Mao right quick when your liver is shot from years of pounding squeeze.

Whatever the case, the Chinese had a vision. Shall we say, "Build You Dreams"?


Hat tip to James!



Ash78, voting early and often

This is what gets lost in translation when the Chinese read too much Ken Kesey.

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