You know how much you love that heady brew of probably spine-eroding chemicals that makes up new car smell? Sure you do — I've seen you sneaking into dealerships and cramming your face in a glovebox for one good huff. Well, Lincoln found that in China, the new car smell they prefer is... nothing. A stench void. Olfactory nothingness.

Just let that sink in. No new car smell at all. You open the door of your brand new, Chinese-market Lincoln MKC, and are greeted with a blast of... air. Just normal, flavorless, boring air. Well, I maybe if you're in downtown Shanghai, it's sort of sooty and dense, but you get the idea.

I believe most cultural differences can be bridged with mutual understanding and respect, but I'm not so sure about this one.

For Chinese market cars, Lincoln even puts a charcoal canister into the cars prior to shipping to remove every trace of new-car scent. Lincoln is actually missing out on a huge revenue opportunity for the American market by not shipping the canisters back to the US and selling them as concentrated New Car Scent on-the-go huffables.

In Japan, I was told that the average luxury car buyer actually likes the leather to have a slightly fishy smell, which does not play well in America at all. In fact, there's very little more idiosyncratic than a particular culture's scent-preferences for their new cars.

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Here's a partial list of some country's preferred luxury new-car smells, based on a 2012 study conducted by the Journal Of Olfactory Psychology, from the University of St.Imadethisupicus in Fabrication, NJ:

Austrians: Beef jerky with an undersmell of hospital porcelain

South Africa: Butter and fresh Band-aids

Canada: Maple syrup and the pheromones released when someone hands you an umbrella you almost forgot

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Tibet: Old Teen Spirit magazine samples

Italy: A fresh tomato sitting inside a man's shoe

Germany: A sphere of aluminum, resting in a tray of mineral oil

France: Your sister's friend, right when she gets up in the morning

Russia: The smell of a steak being beaten against a brick wall

India: Anis and cricket bat wood

McMurdo Research Station, Antarctica: A fresh peach, for fuck's sake. A grape. A handful of fresh-cut grass. Please, please, I want to come home.