I knew it. GM's been sitting on hovercar technology for years, and they're just about to release it. How do I know? Because some IT person got sloppy and pushed the HoverTrax images to Chevy's website before the announcement at the New York Auto Show. I mean, just look! That's a hovering Trax!
It all makes sense — why else would Chevy make such a half-ass car like the Trax? Because, dummies, the wheeled Trax just doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because they're right about to announce the very first available hovercar, and that's going to change everything.
These screenshots were sent in by a reader (thanks, Brooks!) and it looks like the site's been fixed now. They were found in the Build-and-Price module, when you selected All-Wheel Drive for the LS trim. I suppose it's a little odd that the HoverTrax has suspension and brake components, but I bet that's just to keep production costs down.
This is absolute 100 percent proof of GM's hovercar project. If, by some strange, tiny chance, we don't see an official announcement of the HoverTrax very soon, we will know it was because hired goons from the Global Tire Consortium got to executives at GM and did some kidnapping, murdering, or general workings-over. Big Tire is cruel and powerful, and they'll take any measure to see that we never get the hovercars we deserve.
In fact, I'm taking a huge risk by writing this — the Tire Lizard-People (and Tyre Freemasons in the UK) track all our motions via the Tire Pressure Monitoring Systems (TPMS) in our cars as it is — that's why I've been coating my body in Plasti-Dip for the past few weeks, so the tire sensors will think I'm a tire as well and leave me alone.
But this proof cannot be silenced! We will soon be free of they tyranny of the tire! Stand up to the Vulcanization of mankind! Hover in freedom! Hover in freedom! Hover in free–