Chevy Corvette Z06, Subaru Outback XT, 'Top Gun' Ride-On Toy: The Dopest Cars I Found For Sale Online

The under-hood emblem can be changed, OK? The Tire Rack Special wheels, too, can be swapped out for something lighter, stronger, and better-looking. But neither of those are the reason you’re really buying this Z06 — you’re buying it for the claimed 668 crank horsepower from its modified crate V8.

When a car listing includes shots of the build sheet, you know you’re in for a good time. Engine and suspension work, dyno sheets, CarFax reports — this is a genuine build from a genuine seller. Just make it a little less Texan once it’s yours.

What happened to yellow cars? They used to be everywhere, in every parking lot and traffic jam, but now you’re lucky to find even one in a day. Sure, you can get great shades between amber and chartreuse on cars like Supras and Lexus LCs, but what about us poors? Don’t we deserve bright, sunshine-y cars?

There was a time when we had that. We had Sentra SE-Rs, that matched their peppy performance with equally bright, vibrant colors. The SE-R may be gone now, but older ones like this example are still out there. Grab one before they’re gone.

I love scramblers. Sure, my GS is going to be an objectively better off-road riding experience — this Scrambler makes less power, weighs more, and lacks my all-conquering 21-inch front wheel — but the scrambler wins every time for style.

I have no reason to change bikes, but maybe you do. Maybe your two-wheeled dreams are a little more “impulse trip down a fire road” and less “cross the United States without ever touching asphalt.” If you just need some offroad prowess — or just want the looks associated with it — look no further.

In my years of buying and selling cars, always purchasing something “to keep forever” before getting bored of it within three years, I’ve never owned a new car. It’s never really been a goal for me, I’d rather wait for something to age into affordability than stretch myself to get a showroom-fresh example. One car, though, tempted me to break that: The Veloster N.

The agile handling, the pops and crackles from the exhaust, the sheer level of engagement you feel when you’re behind the wheel — the Veloster N was one of the greatest triumphs in hot hatch history. Now, though, you can’t buy them new, and used examples ask more than their original MSRP. In these dire times, perhaps cars like this — which technically have a rebuilt title but listen it looks fine don’t worry about it — are the best option we’ve got.

Enthusiasts love the NA, NB, and ND Miatas, but are more divided over the odd middle child: The bigger, heaver NC. According to forum arguments, it’s simply too huge and ungainly to ever deserve the Miata name — it’s a boat, a land barge, it may as well be a lumbering El Dorado.

Of course, NC owners don’t care about your little forum arguments. They’re too busy using all that extra width to stay planted through corners out on track, and the extra power to eat NAs and NBs on the straights. Plus, they might even be big enough to fit a six-foot driver with a helmet.

Back in 1997, Honda engineers came up with a radical idea: What if they took an Accord, made it look a little bit better and drive a little bit sportier, and then sold it for five years before cancelling the car entirely and just making the Accord slightly more sport-oriented? And what if, for four of those five years, Honda also made an Accord Type R? Well, that sure would be an odd business choice, but boy did they do it anyway. Enter the Torneo.

This SiR doesn’t borrow the European Accord Type R’s H22A engine, instead getting the F20B from the, uh, Accord SiR. With which it also shared a platform and wheelbase. Also the Torneo weighed more. It looks unique, though, and that counts for something!

The Z31 300ZX, like the NC Miata above, is often seen by enthusiasts as another odd middle child. Everyone loves the S30, with its gorgeously simple design, but it seems like the fervor dies off with the S130 and doesn’t return until much later in the Z32. But this 300ZX, with its pop ups and T-tops, is still a beauty.

I admit, the Z might need some work. It’s unclear what’s exactly going on with the screws and tape that dot the car’s white finish, or whether they’re related to the clearly ill-fitting driver’s door, but assume this price gets you a project. Who doesn’t love a summer project, right?

While I may have never owned a new car, I did certainly own a 2005 BL/BP-platform Subaru with a turbocharged EJ25 and a five-speed manual. That means I’m fully qualified to tell you that this Outback is a very good fast wagon, and any card-carrying Jalop should at least have a passing interest in it.

The ad raises some interesting questions, claiming that 2005 was the last year for this body style (it was actually the first for the U.S., and ran until 2009), but it appears honest about the Outback’s condition. Something’s wrong with the transmission, the rear suspension is janky, a coolant line to the turbo leaks, and it needs a “new head gasket seal (leaking, no failure.)” Word of advice from someone who’s driven a smoky turbo Legacy — check the valve cover gaskets first.

For most people “an motorcycle” is a Triumph Bonneville or Honda CB — an upright, vintage bike with a single round headlight and no specific specialization. I posit that that’s a dated view of the motorcycling world, one that ignores all the new subtypes and genres we’ve developed since the first Bonnie rolled across those endless salt flats.

Now, “an motorcycle” may well be a V-Strom 650. ADVs are the most omnicapable motorcycles, able to handle whatever’s thrown at them, and Suzuki’s 650 V-twin is a darling of practical performance — enough power to get you where you’re going, not so much that you’ll get yourself in trouble. It’s as jack of all trades as it really gets.

The wheels here are a travesty, I think we can all agree on that, but this Wrangler has an odd, unique feature. At first glance, the lettering on the front is near-indecipherable, but then you notice the 5150 sticker on the rear fender — and you realize the front says UNCHAINED in the same EVH-striped colorway.

There really never was another band that did it quite like Roth-era Van Halen, was there? Plenty have tried, but none have succeeded. There just isn’t another Eddie, with that mix of crowd-pleasing charisma and absolute instrument mastery. What were we talking about again? Cars?

Isn’t it funny how our language colors our perception of the events it describes? “Racing” calls to mind different images from “driving,” while a “track day” is somehow neither of the above. But, when I say the word “motoring,” what do you picture?

It’s this, isn’t it? A round-eyed, long-nosed roadster, puttering about on some sort of road rally for the well-to-do. Time is kept on fancy watches, and the finish line is marked by some sort of gazebo containing the worst food atrocities you’ve ever seen (anything British.)

As a former marketer, I understand how difficult it can be to write clean ad copy. It’s an art, really, and it takes practice — high-level copywriters are craftspeople in their own right. I don’t expect perfect copy from any Facebook ad, but I will say I always find it funny when a seller manages to contradict themselves in the space of a single sentence.

“A/C was working but previous owner disconnected lines because of a leak.” I dunno, bud, but to me that sounds like the A/C was not in fact working. It sounds like it was leaking coolant, which is not only an environmental hazard but also directly impact the efficacy of the air conditioning. It does not work.

This listing is a bit of a cautionary tale. It’s forthright about a couple of issues — a good start — but the issues themselves are a concern. First, an unspecified throttle issue is causing a check engine light, which is an interesting claim on a bike that didn’t get electronic throttle control until six years later. Then, the big one: The seller apparently lost the title to the bike while out on a ride.

One imagines the seller darting off on their shiny new sportbike, only to see the newly-signed title fly off into the breeze. After all, once you’ve actually registered a bike, the DMV traditionally mails you the title — it shouldn’t be on the bike at all. Then you notice the conspicuous lack of a license plate, and you start to really wonder if the bike was registered at all. Remember kids: No title, no sale.

Here, we have Exhibit A in the case against any direct link between money and taste. This Jaguar F-Type is not a cheap car, even with a minor accident on its record and an unknown number of prior owners, yet there have still been some Decisions made with regard to its mods.

Specifically, there’s a smattering of red all across the interior that makes refined British luxury look like a gamer chair from Staples. Carrying the body color into the interior is a time-honored tradition for accents, sure, but why did you make the steering wheel look like it’s from Logitech? Why is the center console the only diamond-stitched part of the interior?

We’re all adults here, I know, but come on. You’re telling me that you wouldn’t have absolutely loved this as a kid? Cruising around your neighborhood in your fighter jet, imagining the soundtrack soaring in the background as the sun sets Tony Scott-style over your ride?

When I first saw this listing, I figured there was no way it was an actual licensed piece of Top Gun merchandise, but I was wrong — it’s from a company called Hyper Toys, and it’s as legit as the movies’ Hot Topic Christmas sweater. Hot Topic has really diversified since I was a kid, huh?