I feel like, at some point in everyone’s life, we’ve known people like this. People who seem to find truth and lies exist indistinguishable spectrum of ideas. People for whom lying isn’t just easy but simply part of the process of speaking. People like this proud man, owner of a 610 horsepower Challenger with some parts made of pure magic. Or bullshit. Maybe both.
Just listen carefully to that video up there and really drink in everything that’s being said. Let’s just take a moment and appreciate in detail a few of the things here.
We start by getting introduced to the stock-seeming 2012 Dodge Challenger SRT, but we’re soon informed it’s custom. All custom. First we get to the “Lamborghini exhaust,” which is an interesting thing to mention, because there is a grain of sort-of truth in there.
The guy mentions that “Lamborghini used to build Mopar” which isn’t true, but it’s not totally removed from reality. Between 1987 and 1994, Chrysler owned Lamborghini, not the other way around, and I don’t think they were making aftermarket exhaust setups designed to bolt onto cars Chrysler would be making 18 years later. But you know, maybe, right?
The best part though, is the justification for the SUPERCHARGED badge inside the engine bay there. To most of us foolish observers, it sure doesn’t look like there’s a supercharger in there, since superchargers, as objects that exist in reality, have “form” and take up “volume.” They tend to exist, physically.
Looking at that engine, what’s nestled between those banks of cylinders sure looks like the stock 6.4-liter Hemi intake manifold, and not the fairly substantial bulk of a supercharger.
But I’m wrong, of course, because our pixel-faced owner there tells us that, in fact, there’s a supercharger “inside the intake right there.”
At this point, you really have to admire the cameraman’s restraint. “Oh, really?” he asks, possibly almost passing out from the surge of dontbelievethishitatonin secreted from his brain’s horseshit-detecting glands.
Okay, there’s a tiny, magical supercharger nestled cozily in that stock intake manifold, and it’s bumping the output of your engine from about 470 HP to 610 HP. Gotcha. That’s how you did “175 in fifth gear” and rescued those orphans and made such sweet, sweet love to your real Canadian girlfriend. Cool, yeah.
He also mentions that the color of the car is Sleeper Red, and that “the darker it gets at night, the darker red it’ll get,” which I actually think is true of any painted object. The darker it gets at night, the darker the color tends to get as well, because, you know, that’s sort of how darkness works.
I love seeing people excited about their cars, and while this man is clearly excited about his, I have to admit he baffles me. Why lie to these strangers walking by? Why bother lying at all? The 470 HP SRT is already plenty powerful and fun on its own; it doesn’t need to be 610 HP.
And if you’re going to make shit up, why limit it to 610 HP? I mean, any dipshit can walk into a Dodge dealership, spill an entire cup of coffee on their pants, and walk out with a 707 HP Challenger SRT Hellcat. So, if you’re going to so readily and easily lie, why not go for 750 HP, or 810 HP?
When you’re talking about invisible superchargers, how much can plausibility really mean to you, anyway?
I mean, I suppose it doesn’t really matter. The owner himself says “what it looks like is what it’ll do,” and I suspect that may be the most truthful thing he said.
Or it could be some massive troll job. I kind of hope so.
UPDATE: The original poster of the video, Matt Simmons, just sent me a couple close-ups of the engine, and the story gets even better. It’s not even a 6.4 – it’s a 5.7-liter with SRT badges. Oh boy.