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Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Else

Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em

Some look at Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II and see an exquisite piece of work, the epitome of automotive luxury and class. Others may see a blank canvas, and go to work tearing it apart, running homemade piping along the roof, and turbo plumbing out of the nose, and now you can buy it.

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If you like tweet-length shitposting rattle-canned in your trunk, a very, VERY rough World War II fighter aesthetic, truck transmissions, and turbocharged luxury limos, Bring A Trailer has a rock-rolling auction just for you.

Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em
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Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em

This specific turbocharged 1979 Rolls Royce Silver Shadow II is built by Corbin Goodwin, whose automotive work was first broadly recognized for his RX7 build. Since then, he’s bought this Rolls and worked on it over the last four years, and is now ready to hand it off.

From the Bring A Trailer listing:

Modifications include a twin-scroll turbocharger, large bumper-mounted intercooler, welded rear differential, trunk-mounted radiator, 19″ Porsche Panamera wheels, and much more. The seller states that approximately $20k was spent on parts and fabrication, which included adding a custom flywheel from AASCO in Anaheim, California, King off-road coilover shocks, a 20-gallon fuel cell, and a custom exhaust from Deeds Performance in Chatsworth.

Nothing about this car is objectively good beyond the fact that it exists to upset people who probably deserve to be upset by something like this, like anybody who has ever been able to afford a Rolls Royce, maybe your family, some of your friends, and just about anybody who uses some objective standard as a base of judgement.

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This car literally looks thrown together, as if Harrison Ford, in character as Han Solo, crashed a rusty Spitfire into the Rolls Royce parked in his driveway. Words like good and bad can not be used. It requires more nuanced terminology, as everyone is going to bring their own unique attractions and revulsions to a project of this, uh, exclusivity, and they’re going to learn something about themselves.

Bidding ends in six days. Making a statement with something like this lasts, well, however long hose-clamps hold up and depending on the quality of the welding.

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Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em
Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em
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Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em
Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em
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Illustration for article titled Buy This 1979 Trolls Royce To Anger The Rich And Everybody Elseem/em

Reviews Editor, Jalopnik

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DISCUSSION

Jake - Has Bad Luck So You Don't Have To

I just... I don’t get it. I’ve done ridiculous janky stuff. I road tripped a $1 junkyard Nissan Sentra 1000 miles. I used Mitsubishi parts and welder to make an ill-advised but very functional turbo setup on a 1.6 Miata. I have a 1977 Jaguar with a Chevy V8 in it. This is ridiculous and janky, but it’s ridiculous and janky for the sake of being ridiculous and janky. What the actual hell is the appeal of a poorly-engineered clusterfuck rolling embodiment of 2009-era troll face rage comics screaming “U MAD BRO?” with superfluous side air scoops and stupid bullshit.

This car would have been 100% cooler if it was even a little bit stealth. Run the coolant through hardlines under the car protected by a beefy skidplate to a radiator mounted flat on the bottom of the trunk scooping air up from under the car and venting it through holes towards the top of the trunk lid, possibly under a ducktail spoiler which could also provide a bit of a venturi vacuum effect.

Put at least a little effort into the interior, god damn.

The intercooler would be 100000x more awesome if it had been mounted possibly sideways in the same location as the factory grille. Bonus points for affixing the hood ornament to the intercooler itself since there would be no more grille.

And lose all the stupid ass trendy “zero fucks given” garbage duct taped into the interior. More money was spent making it look ruined (and actually ruining it) than it would have taken to make a reasonably presentable functional hackjob.