Border Patrol Exhibits Poor Understanding of Border and Patrol

Illustration for article titled Border Patrol Exhibits Poor Understanding of Border and Patrol

What you see above is an International MXT. It is a vehicle that the United States Border Patrol, no doubt through grants from the Department of Homeland Security, has deemed a reasonable vehicle to patrol the highest traffic border crossing between the United States and Canada, the Detroit-Windsor crossing. There are, shall we say, a couple of things wrong here. First, this particular unit was caught outside of Mexican Fiesta in Dearborn during the lunch hour feeding frenzy. To help visualize the distance between said establishment and the nearest border crossing, we've employed the services of Google Earth after the leap.

This image was lost some time after publication.
This image was lost some time after publication.

Now, being Detroiters, we know that Mexican Town, home of marvelous authentic Mexican food, is but a few hundred feet from the bridge crossing, offering far superior fare to the suburban mediocrity of Mexican Fiesta which is over ten miles away. So, one must naturally question the border patrol on their choice of fare to begin with. However, we're all guilty of taking a long lunch in an exotic locale from time to time, so let's not go nuts on that.


The second thing we're going to mention is an easy one to miss if you aren't paying attention. As you can see from the map, Detroit and Canada share a really wet border. In fact, there isn't a bit of rocky terrain or desertous highlands, no steppes, no hogbacks, no Aa lava flows, indeed no dirt is shared at all. This realization raises two points now:

a) Does it make more sense to invest in an International MXT or, oh, I don't know, A BOAT?
b) Assuming that ground transit is needed between cargo inspections and busts of illegal shipments of The Red Green Show DVDs, wouldn't a more practical vehicle make sense? A Ford Expedition, a Dodge Cargo Van... hell, a crew cab Silverado would do EXACTLY what this thing does, at less than half the price to the taxpayer (starting price for an MXT, $89,500).

A wise man once told us that paying attention to the government will only give you ulcers. Where did our blinders go?

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The US is just super-paranoid about illegal immigrants coming in through Canada-no matter how silly or wasteful of resources this may be.

And seriously it's not that hard to sneak across the US/Canadian border no matter how many stupid MXTs they buy. On the other hand, apparently the US government does random checks to see if people are illegal immigrants along various highways that come down from the Canadian border-they actually stopped my parents' car, although they just took my dad on his word that he wasn't an illegal immigrant...I guess the check mostly works only if you freak out and clearly don't speak english.