If you’re heading to the Christmas tree farm to pick up a fresh, real Christmas tree this year — perhaps for the first time in your life — please remember not to tie your tree to the roof through the windows if you intend to open your car door and drive home at any point. Please learn from BMW X5 Guy.
TikTok user Taylor Papa shared a video destined to become an icon of the holiday “PSA: Don’t Be This Guy” genre earlier this week. She started filming when she realized the fella in question had simply rolled down his windows to pass the string through in order to tie his tree down.
“It’s going to be fun to watch him get in in a minute,” she says in the video. And boy is it fun.
You can watch the full video here, and I highly recommend sticking around for the whole thing, because watching this man try to open the driver’s side door isn’t even the best part.
No. Because this man goes through the trunk.
He doesn’t willingly admit his mistake. He doesn’t undo the tree to tie it up properly. This man has already done his work. Oh no. He’s going to climb in through the trunk of this BMW X5 and... I can’t say I understand the plan here. Did he intend to climb over all the seats to end up in the front?
All I know is that watching this man try to slyly climb into the back of his BMW in the hope that no one is watching him undertake this maneuver is the funniest thing you’re going to see this week.
And yes, it keeps getting better. The X5 has a split tailgate, which is normally quite a handy feature that adds a lot of versatility. It is not so great for BMW Guy, who has to climb over it. He does so after readjusting his cap in the universal gesture for, “I can’t believe I’ve gotta do this, but I might as well get my hands dirty.”
After that, I can’t decide what I love more. Is it BMW Guy hesitantly trying to close the split tailgate? Watching him realize he’s not climbing over that back row of seats and that his best-laid backup plans have now been foiled? Trying to close himself into the back with the key fob?
No. I think my favorite part is what we don’t see. In the comment, TikTok user Taylor Papa confirmed what happened next: “His wife hopped in the driver’s seat, and he stayed in the trunk. We waved as they drove off.”
Which means that this man did not even try to fold the rear seats flat. Which is something you can easily do by pulling a switch in the trunk of the X5.
Poor BMW Guy. He’s never going to live this one down. This is going to be his wife’s favorite story at every holiday get-together for the rest of their lives. This is the kind of tale that spreads like wildfire, where people who heard it fifth-hand repeat it verbatim. Every year, countless couples will start their first argument of the holiday season when one of them snaps, “Don’t be like that BMW Guy on TikTok” at the tree farm. This is history, folks.
And it’s a good lesson in the art of the Christmas tree tie-down. Open your doors first. Don’t just go throwing string through the cracked windows.