BMW is set to release a pair of 500 horsepower compact crossovers upon the world. No use in fighting it, that is what people want. But buyers should be aware that the giant M button on the steering wheel that is supposed to give you MAXIMUM M, is a button of lies.

That button as you can see is an “M” with a 2 superscript. Even though it’s been a few years since I’ve sat in a math class, I’m pretty certain M2 means M squared, and therefore you should get an exponential amount more M when selecting that button. That would mean somewhere in the ballpark of 250,000 horsepower and 195,000 ft pounds of torque. Is that a realistic amount of power for a BMW crossover? Of course not, but I didn’t put the button there.

And I’m not even calculating how much more exponential M you should get in regards to handling, aero or grip because you aren’t getting exponentially more M, in fact, you’re not even getting incrementally more M. Not even close.

Here is what BMW says that button is for -

Drivers can use these settings to configure two detailed overall set-ups for their car and store them permanently. This means they always have their ideal set-ups – e.g. for particularly sporty driving and relaxed cruising – on hand. The desired set-up can be activated instantly and at any time by pressing one of the two red M Drive buttons on the steering wheel. Starting the engine initiates a default vehicle configuration providing a harmonious balance of sportiness, comfort and efficiency.

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The M2 button is just to save your ideal settings, or rather your secondary ideal settings, it doesn’t really provide any more M at all.

Frankly, I’m disappointed that a company like BMW would engage in such a flagrant display of false advertising and the only possible solution is for the engineers in Munich to figure out how to give owners of the 2020 X3 M and X4 M a free M2 that materializes from the exhaust gasses.

Yes, that’s it. There are no other possible solutions.