Audi Celebrates National Nut Day With A 605 HP Wagony Kick To The Balls

Illustration for article titled Audi Celebrates National Nut Day With A 605 HP Wagony Kick To The Balls

Audi is known, at least in Europe, for its incredibly overpowered all-wheel-drive wagons that are closer to the category of “hard drugs that you need to seek help for” than the category of “cars.” So with that in mind, please welcome the Audi RS6 Performance.

Oh, and it comes in an RS7 Performance variant too, if you want your backside oddly sloped.

The Europeans. They really do seem to get all the fun stuff these days. They already get the RS6 Avant, a lightning-quick wagon version of the S6. Now, to make us yankees drip with more jealousy, Audi is giving them (and so far them only) the RS6 Avant Performance. The new “Performance” model, because we’re apparently out of catchy names with a modicum of subtlety, ups the standard RS6’s power number from 560 to a whopping 605 without affecting fuel economy. Life just isn’t fair.


But we should count our blessings, because while we don’t get the RS6 Avant, or any RS6 for that matter, we are lucky enough to have the gorgeous 560 horsepower Audi RS7 Sportback, perhaps the most beautiful four-door luxury coupe on the market. But, to put us in our place, Audi also released an RS7 Sportback Performance model, which gets that same 605 pony engine as the RS6 Performance. Yes, those Europeans – they’re always getting more.

The two new Performance models also get an overboost feature, which allows for a temporary spike in torque from the nominal 516 to 553 pound-feet. They both rocket to 60 mph in 3.7 seconds, two ticks quicker than the standard RS versions. Because they’re German, they’ll technically only have a top speed of 155 MPH, unless you tick a little box, which will raise that up to 189.5 MPH.

And who isn’t going to tick that box? What sort of monster would not tick that box?

Of course, these 605 horsepower rocket-ships aren’t cheap: The RS6 comes in at 117,000 Euros, while the RS7 Sportback will run you 121,700 Euros.


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Tom McParland

(Moves to Europe)