Photo: eBay
Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!  

I don’t quite know where to start with today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Smart Limo. I mean, it’s obviously the perfect ride to book for the Lilliputian Prom, but will its price raise a big stink?

You know, maybe the reason that the auto manufacturers don’t build that many little pickups any more is because they turn out like yesterday’s 2000 Nissan Frontier S/C Crew Cab. That truck was moderately small on the outside, but sacrificed bed space for an extra set of doors and a full-on back seat. Hell, you could get the same effect by buying a ten-year old Chrysler 300 and throwing away the trunk lid.

That seeming lack of a compelling raison d’être wasn’t lost on those of you analyzing the truck’s not so modest $6,600 asking either, and it was reflected in its ultimate 66-percent Crack Pipe loss.

Today is America’s Independence Day and what better way to celebrate that momentous occasion than with a candidate that’s also an opportunity to start an independent business, eventually and potentially enabling your life goal of being independently wealthy. It’s the American way, or something like that.

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How would you make all this bank and live the lifestyle promised by those dead of night TV infomercial timeshare spokespeople? Why by starting your own limousine service with this 2014 Smart ForTwo six axle Brabus mini-limo obviously.

It’s not every day you come across a 3-cylinder powered and CVT equipped limousine, and you might very well question reality on that day that you do. Still, here we are, so let’s dive in.

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If you’re worried about the stock motor’s 70 horsepower being insufficient to move this extended and audaciously kitted Smart, fear not. The seller addresses the issue with the claim that ‘There is new exhaust manifold from smart madness installed for stronger performance.’ That should make it all good, right?

What’s adding to that engine’s burden is a sizable extension to the Smart’s booty—another full ForTwo’s worth in fact—that is commodious enough for four. That’s decked out with all the accoutrements one might expect of a prom-night, bachelorette party, D-lister ride. This isn’t the car for picking up some stuffy-ass executive at the airport, it’s a full-on party wagon. And, it’s garageable.

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The sin bin is accessed via a curb-side gull-wing door and is decked out with Brabus logos on the window glass and lit up on the nose. There doesn’t seem to be any rationale for the inclusion of that tuner’s brand here other than the name dropping potential. That’s good since with a party wagon like this, it’s all about appearances.

From the pictures, the build looks to be professional and in turnkey shape. Oh sure, you may want to black light and Clorox wipe the interior before taking grandma to Sunday church in it, but for strictly business purposes this is just a livery license away from earning you some late night bank.

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The interior features a 20-inch plasma TV and leather seating for up to four passengers. Dual batteries provide the juice for all the electronics as well as the interior and undercarriage lighting. There are cameras on both ends to ensure you never run or back over any potentially paying customers.

The car has 39,409 miles showing on the clock—likely, not all of those were garnered in limo form—and the car comes with a clear title.

America was built on the ingenuity and sweat equity of those who came here to make a better life. In today’s gig economy that means driving people to parties and bringing them food when they have the munchies, all in your personal car. Think of how much more popular and successful you would be at those tasks if you did so in this amazing ride.

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The road to that success is blocked by one hurdle however, and that’s this Smart’s $60,000 price tag. They say you have to spend money to make money, and right now I want you vote on whether this Smart Limo potential business is worth dropping sixty grand on. What do you think, does $60,000 feel like a fair deal for this little limo? Or, for that much (or anything even near it) is this Smart, very, very dumb?

You decide!

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