Individual entrepreneurship seems to be yet another victim of the global pandemic. That could all change with today’s Nice Price or No Dice Dodge ice cream truck. How much might you invest to be your own boss and bring grins to the faces of unfamiliar children?
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who presently own or once have owned a Ford Mustang, and those who don’t and haven’t. The thing of it is, once you’ve joined the former, you can never go back to the latter, it’s sort of a one-way street. Mustang Street.
Yesterday’s 1992 Ford Mustang GT was a low-mileage opportunity to join the ranks of Mustang owners. Unfortunately, with a $15,000 price tag, the barrier to doing so seemed too high. That was evident in the 85 percent No Dice vote the car received, as well as the drubbing it saw in the comments.
Look, if you’re going to spend any sort of cash on a car — Mustang or not — you’re first going to have to earn that cash, fair and square. Pair that with the fact that oftentimes you need to spend money to make money and we might just have ourselves a plan of action to get each of us into the car of our dreams. It’s a little something that I like to call “a job.”
Of course, you don’t want a job working for someone else. That always ends up with that someone else making a billion dollars a day while you hog-sweat your way to a soul-crushing $7.25 each hour. Better than that is the idea of being your own boss. And what better way is there of being your own boss than one that also lets you blare Turkey in the Straw on an endless loop throughout the suburban landscape?
This 1999 Dodge Ram ice cream truck could be just the ticket to that dream of self-sufficiency, entrepreneurial pride and the unsolicited performance of royalty-free music. Let’s have a look.
The van wears a yellow-painted grille and an orange high-top roof. Those elements, along with a picture panoply of frozen treats plastered to the door give the van a joyful, inviting appearance. The twin “Caution, Watch for Children” signage front and rear demonstrates your commitment to running a safe environment wherever you go. Notably, there’s not a single hint of a “free candy” kids-on-the-back-of-a-milk-carton vibe going on here. Some dents and a bit of rattle can coverage on the driver’s door imply that this truck can take a licking and still keep ticking off block after block through the neighborhood while seeking out those desperately in need of refreshing frozen snack options.
It shouldn’t be too expensive to run, either. Power is provided by a 3.9-liter Magnum V6 with 175 horsepower and 225 lb-ft of torque. That’s matched with an automatic transmission, and both engine and gearbox are claimed to have fresh fluid. Also new, according to the ad, is the steering box. Overall, the van has done 117,000 miles, and you can bet that most of those were not highway miles. Despite that, the ad claims the van to still “run and drive good.”
The van’s interior is set up for business. There are two coolers in the back to keep your stock of novelty treats from going south. There’s also a set of display shelves for your less perishable wares. Those are faced with a clear vinyl sheet to keep impulsive kids from just grabbing and going, the little snots. You, of course, need to supply the merchandise — everything from double stick popsicles to Bomb Pops and ice cream sandwiches. You’ll probably also want one of those cool four-barrel coin dispensers for your belt. I mean, who doesn’t want one of those, just in general? You might need some sort of vending license as well, but I’m not a lawyer so don’t hold me to that.
This all brings us full circle to getting off the corporate merry-go-round — or your mom’s couch — and getting out to start making money for yourself so you can get that new dream car. To that end, what might you be willing to invest in this amazing opportunity? To start the consideration, this ice cream van has an asking price of $6,500. Add to that a few hundred for your initial stock of sugary frozen treats and a tank of gas and you’re likely in business. All you need to do then is find some children, and how hard could that be? Hell, if you live in Florida you probably have a representative in Congress who could give you some tips on how to attract them.
What do you think, is $6,500 a fair price to become your own boss and listen to ice cream truck music, day in and day out? Or, does that price mean the American dream still remains out of reach?
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