At $53,000, Could This 2017 Land Rover Evoque Make You Woke?

Photo: eBay
Nice Price Or Crack PipeIs this used car a good deal? You decide!

Have you ever had that something you never wanted turn into something you desperately need? Today’s Nice Price or Crack Pipe Evoque HSE could be just such an unsought obsession, that is, if it’s price doesn’t prove too desperate.

You know that Acura’s current nonsensical alpha character model designations are in replacement of what were once pretty solid nameplates. Cars like Integra and Legend got lost in that alphabet soup all because the company’s marketers determined that consumers held higher recall of the models than of the brand over all. That apparently was seen as detrimental to the marque’s long term health. I think they should have addressed the issue another way, perhaps by renaming Acura to something people would respect more, maybe something like “Lexus.”

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Yesterday we remembered what once was by taking under consideration a 1992 Acura Legend coupe, offered on the eBay for $5,500. That had been a drop of over a grand from a previous posting on the auction site. We also had a glitch in the Matrix that resulted in a number of you not being able to see the poll. Oh boy, did I get email.

The issue seemed to be random, isolated, or both, and in the end, a very narrow 51 percent of you gave the car a nod, allowing it to take home a Nice Price win. Fingers crossed that today’s poll doesn’t exhibit any similar shenanigans.

Here’s something else for you to ponder—did you ever look at the Nissan Murano CrossCabriolet and then wonder why there aren’t more AWD convertible crossovers with questionable proportions and crippled driving dynamics?

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Well, worry no more. Nissan’s awkward offering may be just a rare blip on the used car market now, but Land Rover is still cranking out the convertible version of its two-door Evoque. It’s vastly better looking than its Japanese predecessor, but it’s still just as funky as a monkey.

The Evoque is also shit-balls expensive—even more so than the odd bodkin Nissan. That makes it a good thing that the model has been out for a couple of years now, so you can take advantage of Land Rover’s legendary depreciation.

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This 2017 Evoque HSE convertible is one of those seemingly rare opportunities. Offered up on the eBay, this grey over black droptop comes to us at almost a quarter-off its original MSRP. That’s pretty exciting in the consideration of its present value, and doubly alarming for its future worth.

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Before we get into that however, a bit of a note about this Evoque’s color. The precise exterior hue is difficult to pin down. The reasons are twofold— the eBay ad’s pictures are a little muddy, and in 2017, Land Rover offered the Evoque in fully six shades of stately grey. Could there be anything more British than that?

Whatever the color, the Evoque gets its power from a standard 240 horse turbocharged 2-litre four, and if my memory is anything to go by, that little mill’s biggest claim to fame is in offering a good bit of old school turbo lag. It has a lot of work to do to cart around the Evoque droptop’s hefty 4,520 pounds, but is assisted by an automatic gearbox featuring fully nine forward ratios.

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This one’s only done only 8,000 miles over the course of its two-year life. When not inching up its odometer it’s apparently spent its time lolling in a garage which, according to the ad, it never left during inclement weather.

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That’s a pity since the car seems to have been optioned to the hilt and hence should be a very nice ride. The seller includes in his ad a shot of the original Monroney sticker which denotes nearly fourteen grand in added luxury and convenience options. It also notes that the car came with a 4-year/50K limited warranty which will still be in effect, at least for a couple more years.

The car presents in almost as-new condition. The paint is seemingly without flaw and the top appears to be intact. The only complaint on the outside is possibly the wheels which seem to show some chipping on at least a couple of the spokes of the right-front roller. That may be a trick of the light in the pictures, but I’d check that out.

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The interior likewise looks without issue and comes with a windscreen for two-up driving without tussled hair. A radar detector hangs from the rearview assisting in keeping up speeds that might require the screen. I don’t know the last time I even thought about those things.

Another incongruity is an odd two-slot cup holder on the passenger side of the console. That may prove utilitarian but doesn’t seem particularly elegant or space efficient.

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The title is clear, however I honestly didn’t think that at first. That’s because the car’s VIN starts with SALVD…! That’s an unfortunate factor for the Evoque.

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When given the consideration it deserves, the facts are that there really isn’t another car like the Evoque convertible on the market right now. Sure, it’s a car of inarguable compromises—hell, the boot’s only 9 cubic feet and its almost inaccessible to anyone outside of a Circ de Soleil performer owing to the way its lid opens. Still, there’s something intrinsically intriguing about these cars. It’s definitely a middle finger in the face of conformity, at least for the crowd that weekends in the Hamptons.

This one comes with a $53,000 asking, which as I noted is a ton lower than what a new one off the lot will cost you. Sure, most all of these will be leases, because who has the money or interest to buy one new, but this one’s price should allow you ownership at a monthly payment well below even a new car lease. Plus you can drive it more than 10K a year without having to pony up extra.

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What do you think, does that all sound like an endorsement? Or, does this Evoque’s price evoke nothing but derision?

You decide!

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eBay out of Millbrook, NY, or go here if the ad disappears.

Help me out with NPOCP. Hit me up at rob@jalopnik.com and send me a fixed-price tip. Remember to include your Kinja handle.

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About the author

Rob Emslie

Rob Emslie is a contributing writer for Jalopnik. He has too many cars, and not enough time to work on them all.