In this week’s installment of “All The Craigslist Shitboxes Readers Have Been Tempting Me With Lately,” we begin by looking at a 1993 Plymouth Voyager that’s missing a bit of thorax.
The thorax, you might recall from your biology class, is the center section of an animal’s body, and that’s what’s lacking from this 1993 Plymouth Voyager whose Wyoming Craigslist listing a reader named JT sent my way.
The whole point of a minivan is to have a bunch of space in which to store things (especially car parts and also children), and to have a big sliding door through which to load all that junk. But this chopped 1993 Plymouth Voyager proves that minivans can be awesome even without the practicality. Between the stubby proportions, the lower body kit along the rockers, the crazy black grille covering the front fascia, the chrome fuel filler cap and the wheels, this thing is so bad that it might actually have crossed the threshold into good.
There’s not a whole lot of info on the van’s for-sale post, other than the fact that it’s got a 3.3-liter V6 under the hood, an engine that apparently “runs good” and is hooked up to an automatic transmission (likely the Chrysler A604, which isn’t exactly known for its longevity). Is it worth $2,500? Probably not, but whoever considers buying this is clearly having their mind controlled by the minivan gods; there’s no use trying to save them from poor car-buying decisions.
Honestly, the mere fact that someone thought to put all this work into such a mundane minivan boggles my mind, and makes me kind of want to buy it myself.
While we’re on the topic of hack-jobs, have a look at this 1962 Ford Bus that had the ass-end of its body moved forward, but the ass-end of its frame left in place to act as a car hauler. Just gander at the size of that flatbed, and imagine all the car projects it will probably never haul:
The unfinished hauler bus project is up for sale for $1,000, and it might be worth close to that as scrap.
The bus was sent to me by a reader named Sean, who hails from the San Francisco area, and who regularly spots quirky automobiles on Craigslist, including this 1963 Cadillac DeVille “mounted” on some sort of truck frame.
The seller doesn’t say much about the $2,200 Cad, other than the sentence that most car hoarders struggle with most: “I am never going to get around to finishing it.” I’m sure that was hard to type.
Other than that, the listing mentions that there’s a 454 cubic-inch engine under the hood, which equates—roughly—to 7.4 liters. That’s a lot of motor, though I wonder if it may be too much motor, considering the fact that the body appears to just be sitting precariously on top of the frame. Are those ropes in the photo above holding the car to the chassis? What’s with this strap between the body’s bumper and the frame’s bumper out back?:
Sometimes, when it comes to Craigslist cars like these, it’s better not to ask questions, and to just move on. Though, I do have a lot of questions about this Jeep:
This 1973 Jeep CJ-5 madness comes to us from South Carolina, courtesy of a reader named Thomas, who sent me its Craigslist link.
The seller says there’s a Chevy V8 under the hood with “crazy headers,” and that the engine’s power goes through a three-speed automatic, and then through a Chevy rear axle with 5.13 gears.
Normally I’m not a fan of rat rods, or hacked up classics, but 5.13 gears and a Chevy V8 moving a tiny CJ has got to be a hell of a lot of fun. And also, that motor sounds great in the video above. Is that worth the $8 the seller is asking? Well, of course it is!
If that “$8" really means “$8,000,” then I’d be tempted to just buy a clean, unmolested CJ-5, if I’m honest.
The final shitbox on the docket today, which was also sent my way by Thomas, is this 1972 Jeepster Commando with a raised platform behind the seats, and what looks like a rear bench atop that platform.
Clearly, this is a hunting rig, though it seems like it can be put back close to stock, as the seller says they have the doors, roof, tailgate and rear bench stored away. The engine is the venerable 258 inline-six mated to a “GM automatic transmission,” which I assume is the unkillable Turbo 400.
If it’s in as decent shape as it appears, for $3,250, I’d actually consider this, especially if I were a hunter. Though really, the right move would be to just buy the bobbed minivan. There’s no sense in trying to resist.