Well, I know it’s early in 2018, but I’ve already gotten my favorite email of the year. It’s a press release that boldly answers the question we’ve all been asking: What’s with the Birnbom situation? Has Marvin Birnbom found a way to personalize his 2016 Cadillac CT6? The answer, I’m delighted to say, is yes. Yes he has.
Here’s the full press release we received:
Just in case you can’t read the text there, here’s the copy in full:
When Marvin Birnbom of Montreal, Canada decided he wanted to be a bit different he went out on Google and found a source for a genuine antique 1940 Cadillac mascot. Once the Mascot arrived the next step was for him to carefully mount the mascot on the $2,000 CT6 all aluminum hood. Careful does it and the resulting job turned out to be a real head turner. The mascot and the front end were a beautiful marriage. I could not believe the attention it gets and the compliments it earns. I would never have believed how many people would notice and comment on the arrangement. Marv has access to antique mascots going back to 1901. email@example.com 514-739-9328
I’m a little confused about this copy, because it starts by referring to Marv in the third person, then switches to first person, which still seems to be Marv?
Still, that barely matters, because the point is that Marv Birnborn has acquired a 1940 Cadillac hood ornament, carefully affixed it to his car hood, and is now thrilled.
And I can see why! That’s a fantastic hood ornament, and it looks great on his CT6, despite the decades of time separating the two elements.
Marv is a man who is clearly enjoying his Cadillac CT6 to the absolute fullest, and that makes me very happy. I love that this guy was so delighted with his bit of car personalization that he decided to release a goddamn press release.
I mean, really, who hasn’t wanted to do something like this when you’ve made a cool modification to your car? Hell, we write articles when we do things to our cars here—why shouldn’t Marv Birnborn have that right, too?
I also really like the last line of the press release:
(To request an e-mailed digital version of this PR RELEASE kindly request document 610 from; firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m pretty sure I was just e-mailed a digital version of this PR RELEASE, but I love that it’s “document 610.”
Okay, I just got off the phone with Marv. He’s even better than you think. He’s 88-years-old, retired, and when I asked him what made him decide to issue a press release, he just told me it’s because he’s “an opportunist.”
Marv went on,
“I’m not a designer, just an individual. I put that nosepiece on, held my breath—I can’t believe how many people notice it!”
Marv did the work himself, nervously drilling into the Cadillac’s $2,000 aluminum hood.
“I was afraid people would laugh at me,” he confided, “but they love it!”
Marv told me his next project is to install one of those LED-matrix signs that can display moving text in the back window. He wants to thank people who “do him a kindness” on the road, and to remind “assholes not to tailgate.”
Along with the CT6, Marv owns a 1971 Jaguar XKE. Marv bought the Jag 45 years ago for a now-baffling $2,500. In case that’s not enough, Marv also has a collection of 250 vintage die-cast cars in his “museum room.”
Marv is delightful. I hope I’m as enthusiastic and adventurous as Marv is when I’m pushing 90. And I think I’ll follow his lead and issue a press release for every freaking thing I do to my cars.
So, let’s hear it for Marv, and all agree to request document 610.