Actually, Pothole Good

A hero lying in wait?
A hero lying in wait?
Photo: Jim Mone (AP Images)

Potholes are the bane of drivers everywhere. The things open up like yawning jaws in our trash roads, hungry and eager to prey upon unsuspecting motorists, destroying tires, wheels, axles and the like. But sometimes potholes can be good.


While Nebraska paramedics raced a 59-year-old man to the hospital for a dangerously rapid heartbeat recently, the ambulance hit a pothole, reports ABC7 NY. Apparently the shock was enough to bring the man’s heartbeat of 200 beats per minute back down to normal.

This is A Thing that happens, supposedly! A doctor told the outlet, “One way to treat that is with an electrical shock. Classically, you’ll see it on television. The paddles... Clear... And a big jolt. Turns out, you can do that with a pothole.” 

The outlet reports that the man is expected to make a full recovery.

The good people of Nebraska might be onto something here. Maybe instead of filling in the potholes, we let them grow bigger and bigger and run ambulances through them. Think about how many lives we could save this way! What’s an axle and a few busted up wheels when you could save one human life, the most precious of all things?

Maybe one day, potholes will be used to treat all sorts of disorders—eliminate the need to vaccinate even!

We could be on the brink of a medical breakthrough.

(h/t to Ty!)

Writer at Jalopnik and consumer of many noodles.


son of a motherless goat (PSA: wash your hooves)

Unfortunately, his health insurance doesn’t cover potholes and he now owes $62,950 for the procedure.