A Review Of Every Car I Meant To Review But Haven't Yet

Illustration for article titled A Review Of Every Car I Meant To Review But Haven't Yet

As I’ve detailed before, the world of handing over “press cars” to journalists and important people has mores but not many rules. One of the most basic rules, unless specified otherwise, is that you review the car. In spite of this, many autojournalists have cars they’ve driven that didn’t get reviewed. I have a lot, so I’m fixing that so it’s not on my conscience when a next owner takes over the company.


Some of my excuses for not reviewing these cars are real and legitimate, like through no fault of my own two cars were double-booked and I didn’t get enough time to drive both of them. In a few cases I made it clear we’d already written a review and I was just curious. On other occasions, through disorganization, we booked the same car across multiple writers.

Often, though, I just forgot to get pictures or let too much time lapse between driving the car and writing it up and then entirely forgot about it. You’ll see most of them grouped in the time of period where I started running the site and thus didn’t focus as much on writing.

So, here we go, what I can remember about the 29 cars I drove and didn’t review (that I have proof I drove).

2013 Fiat 500 Turbo

  • MSRP As Tested: $22,350
  • What I Remember: Oh man, this little car was great. It had the beautiful Verde Azzuro paint that made it look like a deep, shimmering South American lake. Plus it came with a five-speed and is essentially the European Abarth (our Abarth is/was the European Abarth SS). I had a ton of fun with this car and, while you’re probably just going to get the Abarth, the non-Abarth car is a little bit of a sleeper.

2013 Volvo S60 T6 R Polestar

  • MSRP As Tested: $48,195
  • What I Remember: I had a lot of fun tearing through the backwoods of Virginia in this car and I think I tested it right before I moved which is why it never got written up. It was serious fun and, while it wasn’t an M3, the bright blue paint made it a lot more interesting than many BMWs. I do remember cooking it way too hard on a mountain road and nearly putting some of that paint on a guardrail.

2013 Volkswagen Beetle TDI

  • MSRP As Tested: $24,360
  • What I Remember: Almost nothing, honestly. I guess my excuse for not reviewing it as that, deep down, I knew that the car was selling a lie.

2012 Maxima 3.5 SV

  • MSRP As Tested: $40,055
  • What I Remember: This is funny. I was helping out with a mayoral campaign in Houston and the nutty professor of a candidate had to quickly get to the dentist in between events and I dropped the hammer on the “sport package” equipped Maxima. It was faster than I’d have guessed and I think I freaked the candidate out a little because after that he suddenly stopped asking me to drive him places. I kind of still like that car. Not a lot of torque but quicker than you’d think and FWD has its advantages. Anyway, that was not this car. There was also another Maxima I got and also didn’t write about.

2012 Jaguar XKR

  • MSRP As Tested: $Can’t Find It
  • What I Remember: This was another great car. Low and load and fast and a little archaic. I feel like I did review it and I definitely remember taking pictures with Zerin Dube, but I can find no proof of this.

2012 Porsche Cayenne S Hybrid

  • MSRP As Tested: $102,185
  • What I Remember: Cayennes are great and I’ve reviewed them before. I think I also had a Porsche 911 around the same time and it just blocked out any memory I had of the Cayenne. I remember my wife loved it and I felt bad that I’d probably never be able to afford a new one for her.

2012 Honda Accord 2DR EX-L V6 NAV

  • MSRP As Tested: $32,820
  • What I Remember: Jack Baruth will always have the upper hand having owned this car so I’ll just agree with his statement that they’re more fun than you’d imagine and rock solid. This did launch a fun conversation in Oppo with Honda PR though, so I think it counts as a review.

2013 Mazda Mazda3 Sedan

  • MSRP As Tested: $24,970
  • What I Remember: Do we really need to write more about Mazdas? Is that what someone is clamoring for? Yet another Jalopnik Mazda take?

2012 Nissan Juke SV AWD CVT:

  • MSRP As Tested $24,965
  • What I Remember: I had a Nismo Juke not that long after and I remember liking both.

2012 Toyota PriusV

  • MSRP As Tested: $36,555
  • What I Remember: I don’t think I ever got this car. I don’t have any photos or any proof other than a window sticker sitting on my desk.

2012 Audi A6

  • MSRP As Tested: $63,355
  • What I Remember: A big hint for me in these is the color and the color of this car is “Audi Exclusive Color.” I think it was brown.

2011 Mitsubishi Lancer Ralliart

  • MSRP As Tested: $31,355
  • What I Remember: Mostly being sad. Mitsubishi is the company I’m most sad about not surviving, although I’ve been informed it still sort of exists? Here’s hoping Nissan does right by them because they used to be good and they should be good.

2012 Hyundai Equus Ultimate

  • MSRP As Tested: $66,650
  • What I Remember: The Genesis is a lot of car for the money and also something I could absolutely see a different version of myself that has like 10% less fun and 60% more common sense owning. The Equus is way more car than that. If you were willing to spend upwards of $60,000 on a Hyundai you’d get something about as big as an S-Class with almost all of the weird massaging features and sunshades and even a refrigerator in the backseat. The only downside is it’ll be an Equus.

2012 Kia Soul+

  • MSRP As Tested: $17,145
  • What I Remember: This is another car I have no memory of, but I told my parents to buy a Kia Soul and they liked it so I must have liked it.

2012 Toyota Yaris

  • MSRP As Tested: $17,389
  • What I Remember: This must be some kind of joke. I never had a Yaris.

2011 Scion tC

  • MSRP As Tested: $21,417
  • What I Remember: The Scion was another car actually much faster than you’d imagine, with a reasonable 180 HP out of what the window sticker calls a “2.5L V4.” I didn’t realize they were still making V4 engines since the Ford Taunus but there you go. I like the tC and I hope it ends up somewhere in the new Toyota Universe.

2012 Range Rover Evoque

  • MSRP As Tested: $56,595
  • What I Remember: $50,000 is too much for this car, but if money is no option it’s still probably the best version of a small crossover you can get.

2013 Hyundai Elantra GT

  • MSRP As Tested: $24,365
  • What I Remember: I forgot this car existed, but someone mentioned it to me when I was looking for a new car and I considered it.

2014 Honda Odyssey Elite

  • MSRP As Tested: $45,280
  • What I Remember: Every time I see crumbs in my new car left from some baby crap I remember that this Honda had a vacuum cleaner in the back and I laughed at it at the time and I was wrong. If you can roll with a minivan and you need a minivan get a minivan. Minivans are great. I’m the one that’s not great.

2005 BMW X3

  • MSRP As Tested: $54,200
  • What I Remember: We drove this thing to one of our video shoots and it was a nice little SUV. For about 95 percent of the planet, the X3 is all the car you’d ever need.

2015 Nissan Murano SL

  • MSRP As Tested: $41,905
  • What I Remember: To be fair, before we ran out of money, there was a time when we were going to do a Buyers Guide for every car and I volunteered to drive some things less interesting to the average writer. The Murano was nice. Get a Nissan. It’ll be fine.

2016 Nissan Maxima Platinum

  • MSRP As Tested: $40,685
  • What I Remember: Jesus, have I ever reviewed a Maxima?

2015 Audi A3 Cabriolet

  • MSRP As Tested: $46,825
  • What I Remember: This is a cute car. Do you need a cute car? Buy an A3 Cabriolet.

2015 Toyota Avalon

  • MSRP As Tested: $35,308
  • What I Remember: I was going to review this car but Raphael fell in love with the thing so he did.

2013 Honda Civic 4DR

  • MSRP As Tested: $21,605
  • What I Remember: I probably did Honda a favor not reviewing this. Just pretend like no Civic existed in between like 2003-2015 and you can pretend the Civic is still the most consistently good car ever built.

2013 Hyundai Azera

  • MSRP As Tested: $37,225
  • What I Remember: Actually did a long road trip with a family of three and my wife and this. We were all comfortable. It was a pleasing drive out to the mountains near West Virginia. This car gives me good feels.

2013 Kia Optima SX Limited

  • MSRP As Tested:???
  • What I Remember: People think the Optima is a lot more expensive than it is. Good for Kia.

2013 Infiniti JX35 AWD

  • MSRP As Tested: $55,755
  • What I Remember: The top of the window sticker says “Choose to be Inspired” and I guess I chose not to be inspired.

2011 Buick Regal CXL Turbo

  • MSRP As Tested: $34,630
  • What I Remember: I wanted a manual.

2013 Acura ILX

  • MSRP As Tested: $30,095
  • What I Remember: It had a manual and it made me happy and no one else.

That’s certainly not even all of them, but those are the ones I have proof I’ve driven. Well, I feel better.


Also, I’m fired. I just fired myself.

This has been a post from Senior Week, a celebration of Gawker Media as a purveyor of independent journalism. Thank you for your continued support.

Gawker Media's Executive Editor for Publishing Partnerships. Ex-Jalopnik EiC.



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